How To Switch Off From Technology (And How It Will Benefit Your Wellbeing)

Whether lost, listening to music, keeping in touch with friends or just desperate to Instagram your spaghetti bolognese - your smartphone or device, lightweight and fitting snuggly into your hand like a cashmere glove, is all you need to do... well... anything.

The flip-side of this new-found, much-loved convenience is, of course, addiction.

Raise your hand if you've ever scrolled through Facebook in your pitch-black bedroom until the early hours or rolled over to check your work emails/Instagram/Twitter feed first thing in the morning.

Yeah, we thought as much.

"Phones are such an intrinsic part of everything we do," says Poorna Bell, HuffPost UK Lifestyle editor speaking to HuffPost Live. "But people just don't have boundaries."

Just like any other addiction, being glued to our screens 24/7 isn't without consequences.

We spoke to Dr David Hamilton, author of How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body, to find out the benefits of switching off.

And, for those who love their phone more than their own parents, we've got some easy-to-follow tips on how to get some screen sense.



Benefits Of Switching Off
1) Gives the mind a rest so we're less stressed
Having instant and constant access to news, information, etc, means we rarely give our minds a rest. The mind and body need rest. We're being bombarded with information all day so we need to switch off for the sake of our own health, otherwise there's more likelihood of us getting stressed throughout the day.

2) We get better sleep quality
Sleep quality if affected by what's on our minds.
We absorb so much negative content when we read the news on a smartphone or tablet last thing at night. It affects many people's sleep quality so they end up waking up in the morning not feeling rested and refreshed.

3) It's better for our relationships
Many relationships suffer because we spend so much time online that we talk much less. Many couples even have their smartphones on the table while they are, supposedly, enjoying a romantic meal.Switching off gets us back to connecting with one another face-to-face again.

4) It can make us happier
Social network research shows that the more good quality relationships we have the happier we tend to be/ Many people develop a lot of their relationships online and not face-to-face. Some take pride in the number of 'friends' they have on Facebook, yet the amount of face-to-face time they enjoy with friends declines.
There is no substitute for face-to-face contact. We're wired to benefit from connecting with one another. Face-to-face contact is actually good for the cardiovascular system. Depriving ourselves of this at the expense of being online is not so healthy for us, mentally and physically.


How To Switch Off
1) Just decide
Sometimes just knowing that being switched 'on' all the time is detrimental to our mental and physical health, and also that of our relationships, is a motivating factor for people to just decide to switch off more.

2) Set some rules
It's beneficial in relationships and in families to set some rules. Without boundaries, many people just default into switching on all day and night. Rules can be, 'no phones or tablets at the dinner table', 'no internet in the bedroom', or 'no internet during lunch', for instance.
Sometimes, just these little rules can be a relief because many people just switch on out of boredom, so rather than rest they're bombarding themselves with more information. Rules give us an information break and let us get more from our real downtime. It feels good knowing that when you go to bed, for instance, the day's work is over because that's the rule.

3) Challenge yourself
If you're really up for it, challenge yourself to go one day a week without switching on. It might be hard at first but it will become easier if you keep it up a day a week for few weeks.

You'll then realise that it's actually not that difficult and it feels really good. It feels relaxing. It's like a little holiday - a day off.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/18/screen-sense-how-to-switch-off-technology_n_4120591.html?utm_hp_ref=uk-wellbeing

Forget Regrets–Embrace Your Experiences!

We all have stories that make us smile and others that we prefer to forget. We all have experienced personal and professional ups and downs. This is part of the human experience and we should appreciate every moment.

Do not regret the past, as difficult as that may be. The past is behind you with nothing but knowledge in its wake. You can’t change the past, so why not make it an educational tool no different than when you first learned to ride a bike?

Do not be disappointed or discouraged about today. Today is temporary and tomorrow is on its way. Tough times are palatable and surmountable when you look at them from this vantage point.

Do not feel that you are alone in any obstacles that you may be experiencing. You are not alone, for many have struggled in similar ways and their stories abound. Look at it this way; success and failure all have the same byproduct – “wisdom.” Wisdom is a gift gained from the past that serves as the foundation of our future, and if you share it with others, you are helping them on their life’s journey as well.

Share your stories and pay forward your wisdom. Hearing stories of perseverance gives people hope. Such narratives tell people that they are not alone and that they will ultimately prevail.

You are valuable in every sense of the word. What you have already accomplished on this planet is inspirational and motivational to others around the globe. So remember… we are all mentors just by the sheer impression of our footsteps.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/forget-regrets-embrace-your-experiences.html

10 Ways To Become Better At Your Job Today

With a still-shaky recovery, tepid hiring and continued stagnation in many workplaces, employees have a tough time feeling inspired to extend any extra effort . But if you can improve your job performance, you will put yourself in a good position to climb up the ladder should an opportunity materialize, or to move to a totally new job, in case you hear of an opening at another company.

What’s the best way to become better at your job? We’ve run a number of stories with advice about improving job performance. After looking over those pieces and brainstorming with Forbes Leadership Editor Fred Allen, I’ve put together ten tips that should help you get ahead in your current role.

First, get organized. 

With the onslaught of email, texting, tweeting and everything else, it can be challenging to stay on top of your workload. We ran this story about conquering your email inbox, which recommends a system of prioritizing urgent items, dealing with short requests quickly, deleting junk and putting less pressing matters on a to-do list. One more tip: Consider imposing some discipline on email interruptions. Check your inbox once a half hour or once an hour, to give yourself time to complete tasks that require concentration.

Second, stop trying to multi-task. 

In 2009, a group of Stanford researchers released a study that showed how people who do heavy multitasking, keeping up several email conversations at once while texting, jumping from one website to the next and trying to work at the same time, do not pay attention as well as those who maintain a more streamlined work flow.

Third, put yourself in the mindset of your boss. 

We’ve run several stories about dealing with difficult supervisors. The most effective strategy: Empathize, and discover your boss’s style, so that you can imagine what he or she is looking for in an employee. We ran this piece about dealing with a younger supervisor, this story about a series of questions you can ask your boss, which will help you get to know her (what was her previous job? what are her career aspirations?), this story about dealing with a lousy manager (set an agenda, don’t yell back), and this piece about managing up a difficult boss (treat him like a difficult client). The overarching lesson: figure out your boss’s style and orientation and try to stay one step ahead.

Fourth, forge strong relationships with colleagues outside your immediate area of responsibility. 

In his best-selling book Getting More: How To Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World, Wharton Business School professor Stuart Diamond notes that “companies, even small ones, can be very political places.” Diamond recommends allying with people who can help you, including employees who have been there a long time and who may be overlooked by others, those who work in human resources, staffers in the information technology department, even security guards and cleaning staff who have probably absorbed much more about your firm than you realize. Diamond calls it “building your own coalition.”

Fifth, focus on listening. 

Listen to your boss of course, but also pay close attention to your colleagues and subordinates. At work we often feel like we have to perform by doing verbal gymnastics, but listening closely to what others say can be even more useful and can garner more appreciation from co-workers.

Sixth, try getting in early. 

Even 15 minutes can make a difference. If you can swing an early arrival, you will get a step ahead of the day’s tasks. You can even reward yourself later with a longer lunch break or a departure for home that comes earlier than usual.

Seventh, make sure you give yourself genuine down time. 

We ran a piece on the importance of vacation. That means time away from the office when you don’t check work email or let yourself think about the next project. It can give you a sense of control, of purpose, it can shake up your perception of time, offer the space to expand cultural horizons and allow the kind of relaxed break everyone needs to refuel.

Eighth, once you’ve refueled, aim for clarity and precision in everything you do at work.

If an email won’t convey the subtlety of your decision to push for a colleague’s ouster, then pick up the phone or visit in person.

Ninth, do plenty of research and preparation before you undertake any task.

Don’t take up your boss’s time before you’ve performed plenty of legwork. Prior to a meeting, rehearse your strategies and objectives.

Tenth, try some humility.

Most career advice seems to encourage relentless self-promotion. But Orville Pierson, author of The Unwritten Rules of the Highly Effective Job Search, says it’s better to avoid strings of hyped-up adjectives and instead to describe your accomplishments simply, without embellishment.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/11/11/10-ways-to-become-better-at-your-job-today-2/

How To Express Your Feelings In A Respectful Way

People often tell me that they have problems maintaining calm and respectful communication with their partner even though they intended to. They start out fine, but can’t follow through when their partner responds in disrespectful or angry ways. Some of these couples need the presence of an experienced couples therapist to be able to maintain calm and repair disruptions.

This article offers a communication model that outlines how to practice maintaining communication regarding how you feel in an honest and open way while keeping your calm. This is not about feeling good or even comfortable. This is about practicing staying calm even though you feel hurt and angry.

The rationale for this is having a fuller understanding of each other’s perspectives. Feeling angry doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bound to break up. It means that there is something you need to take care of.

If you manage to find solutions together, you will feel closer, safer, and understood on a deeper level. Imagine explaining to your partner that you are hurt and angry in a calm way. Also, imagine that your partner is able to hear you and respond in a loving way.

Because it is easier to express positive feelings and talk about what’s right in your relationship, I will recommend that you start with five positive statements about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Build from the following, if you like:

What do you love about your partner?

What do you love about the relationship?

What is most important to you?

Give a concrete example of what makes you feel loved.

Give a concrete example of what you look forward to.

Expressing your love, appreciation, and willingness to stay connected and find solutions together is essential for your partner’s willingness to hear you out and consider your requests and proposed solutions to problems you are having.

Expressing feelings of frustration, anger, fear, and sadness is a lot harder and takes some consideration. If you are able to stay calm and collected while you talk about your feelings, your chances of staying on track are higher. If you avoid blaming your partner and instead talk about what you feel, think, and what is important to you and why, it is more likely that your partner will respond positively.

Try to make it easier for your partner to listen to you and refrain from interrupting you and subsequently defending herself/himself. Try to make your statements more about yourself than about your partner. This is probably one of the hardest things to do. Self-expression is about defining yourself and what is most important to you, which is not easy when you are feeling upset and hurt.

It is natural in a relationship to feel at times that the other person is to blame. However, if you consider the matter, you will become aware that you have a responsibility for your own responses and reactions, and how you function as a partner has an influence on the relationship. Your feelings are your own, and to blame others for them is not conductive for your individual or relationship growth.

Before you start expressing feelings of anger and hurt, I recommend that you think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Consider the following:

What are your feelings? Do you feel angry, hurt, sad, scared, lonely, jealous, guilty, etc.?

Give concrete examples such as, “I feel scared when you don’t call.”

Focus more on what you feel, think, and want, not on your partner’s shortcomings. “I feel lonely and I miss what we used to do together.”

Tell your partner why it is important to you that you honestly and openly express your feelings. Make sure you explain that self-expression goes both ways, and that it takes courage to talk about feeling vulnerable. Showing vulnerabilities is a sign of strength, and talking openly and honestly about how you feel is not a weakness.

Be mindful of how you express yourself. Tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and eye contact are more important than most people think. Most of what you actually communicate to your partner has to do with how you communicate.

Be open and explicit about your intentions for having the conversation.

Make sure you are not having this conversation to get back at your partner. If you are very angry, you might feel vengeful. If that is the case, calm yourself and consider what is most important to you and what kind of partner you would like to be.

Don’t expect immediate success. Self-expression is a skill which takes practice to master. Ask for professional help if you need to.

http://grohhealthyliving.com/how-to-express-your-feelings-in-a-respectful-way/

5 Steps Towards Resilience

The opposite of depression is not happiness, according to Peter Kramer, author of "Against Depression" and "Listening to Prozac," it is resilience: the ability to cope with life’s frustrations without falling apart. Proper treatment doesn’t suppress emotions or dull a person’s ability to feel things deeply. It builds a protective layer -- an emotional resilience -- to safeguard a depressive from becoming overwhelmed and disabled by the difficulties of daily life. Here, then, are five steps toward resilience.


1. Sleep
Sleep is crucial to sanity because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. The link between sleep deprivation and psychosis was documented in a 2007 study at Harvard Medical School and the University of California at Berkeley. Using MRI scans, they found that sleep deprivation causes a person to become irrational because the brain can’t put an emotional event in proper perspective and is incapable of making an appropriate response.

2. Diet
My diet has always been an important part of my recovery from depression, but two years ago -- after working with the naturopath and reading Kathleen DesMaison’s "Potatoes Not Prozac" -- I could more competently trace the path from my stomach to my limbic system. Moreover, I recognized with new clarity how directly everything that I put in my mouth affects my mood.

Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, white flour, and processed food -- you know, what you live on. Here are the good guys: protein; complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables; vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins C, D, and E, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids. I’m religious about stocking up on Omega-3 capsules because leading physicians at Harvard Medical School confirmed the positive effects of this natural, anti-inflammatory molecule on emotional health.

3. Exercise
Studies showed that the depressives who improved with exercise were less likely to relapse after 10 months than those treated successfully with antidepressants, and the participants who continued to exercise beyond four months were half as likely to relapse months later compared to those who did not exercise. Even as little as 20 minutes a week of physical activity can boost mental health. In a new Scottish study, reported in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, 20,000 people were asked about their state of mind and how much physical activity they do in a week. 

Exercise relieves depression in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. Other added benefits include improved sleep patterns, exposure to natural daylight (if you’re exercising outside), weight loss or maintenance, and psychological aids.

4. Relationships And Community
We are social creatures and are happiest when we are in relationship. One of the clearest findings among happiness research is that we need each other in order to thrive and be happy, that loving relationships are crucial to our well-being. Relationships create a space of safety where we can learn and explore. Belonging to a group or a community gives people a sense of identity. Studies indicate that social involvement can promote health, contribute toward faster recovery from trauma and illness, and lower risk of stress-related health problems and mental illness.

Plenty of evidence indicates that support groups aid the recovery of person struggling with depression and decrease rates of relapse. Another study in 2002, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, followed a group of more than 100 persons with severe depression who joined online depression support groups. More than 95 percent of them said that their participation in the online support groups helped their symptoms. The Depression Center here at Everyday Health are a great resource.

5. Purpose
The father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, explains in his book, "Authentic Happiness," that a critical element to happiness exists in using your signature strengths in the service of something you believe is larger than you. After collecting exhaustive questionnaires he found that the most satisfied people were those that had found a way to use their unique combination of strengths and talents to make a difference. Dan Baker, Ph.D., director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, believes that a sense of purpose -- committing oneself to a noble mission -- and acts of altruism are strong antidotes to depression. And then there’s Gandhi, who wrote: "the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/how-to-be-resilient_n_4065246.html?utm_hp_ref=gps-for-the-soul&ir=GPS%20for%20the%20Soul

What Is The Secret Of Success?

What is the secret of success? According to a new study by Talent Smart and published in Psychology Today, the secret of success in the workplace may be having a high emotional quotient (EQ). Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence “is the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one’s own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others.”

Their research showed that 90% of high performers in the workplace possess a high emotional quotient, while 80% of low performers have a low EQ.

There are many different tests (and whole books written) on the topic of emotional intelligence and how to determine your emotional quotient. Here’s a short one from the University of Washington. Of course, most of these tests are self-graded so there may be a bias if a person is unrealistic in their self-assessment.

According to the Psychology Today article, here are five ways to boost your emotional intelligence:

1. Improve the ability to deal with so-called “negative“ emotions. While the author of the article defines some emotions as negative, the reality is that most emotions can be constructive if we learn to express them in a helpful way. Learning to deal with anger, frustration, and other difficult emotions in a way that doesn’t overwhelm us or affect our judgement is critical to success. There are many ways to deal with difficult emotions, which include: writing them out, going for a brisk walk, waiting a while before sending out that angry e-mail, or spending time in nature. Of course, these are just a few. I’d love to hear from you about the ways you deal with difficult emotions.

2. Stay cool under pressure. Boosting the ability to remain calm under pressure is one way to handle stressful situations in an assertive, rather than a reactive, way. Simply breathing deeply and counting to ten prior to expressing anger can be helpful. Similar to number one, vigorous activity or spending some time in nature can also help us keep our cool.

3. Pay attention to social cues. People with a high EQ are generally more accurate in their interpretation of others’ emotional, verbal, and physical expressions. They also tend to be effective at communicating their intentions. The author suggests coming up with multiple interpretations of someone’s expressions or actions instead of jumping to conclusions about his or her behavior. And, avoid personalizing someone else’s behavior. Seek clarification about someone else’s intentions or feelings if you are uncertain.

4. Be assertive and express difficult emotions when necessary. Set boundaries. Say “no” if you really need to and don’t feel guilty about it. Avoid trying to be superwoman or superman, taking on every responsibility that someone throws at you. I’ve been asked on occasion why I seem to have a positive outlook on aging while so many people desperately try to look and act younger. My response is simple: I would never want to go back to being younger now that I’ve gained more confidence and a stronger sense of myself, along with the ability to say “no” and set clear boundaries, without feeling guilty.

5. Express intimate emotions in close relationships. Another key to success is building and maintaining strong intimate relationships and one of the best ways to do that is to learn to share emotions in a constructive way and respond positively when another person does so. Of course, knowing with whom to share these emotions is also imperative. Some emotions are best reserved for strong personal relationships, not just acquaintances. But finding ways to let someone know they are important, cared for, or loved is important to relationships but also our self-worth and our emotional quotient. As John Donne aptly wrote, “no man is an island.” Strong relationships give us a solid foundation from which to experience life.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-secret-of-success.html

How To Refresh Your Relationship Today

Relationships — like everything we do in life — don’t really operate as well as we think they do on auto-pilot. While everything may seem fine on the surface, dig a little deeper and you’ll find two people who are unhappy, but just don’t know how to broach the subject.

Let’s face it, sometimes our romantic relationships can just become stagnant.

It’s time to reignite the flame and restore the passion that you and your partner deserve.

How do you do it? Click through to find out!

1. Be social. Look for healthy couples to hang out with. Summer is almost over, but there’s still time for barbecues, pool parties, camping, picnics in the park, and going to the beach. Socializing with other couples will bring about new adventures to add to your list.
2. Make your partner feel special. Let him or her know that your relationship is at the top of your priority list. Brainstorm different ways that you can show them daily.
3. Learn to be an effective communicator. Being a good communicator means being a good listener. Most couples listen with the intent to reply. Instead, listen with the intent to understand.
4. Play nice. It’s not always going to be fun and games. There will be times that you and your partner don’t get along. Watch your tone. No name-calling, no degrading, and no blaming. Before you speak, ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting the relationship?” If you slip up, don’t forget to apologize.
5. Volunteering at a church, soup kitchen, women’s shelter, animal shelter, Red Cross, or nursing home is a great way to give back to the community and will leave you and your partner with a sense of accomplishment.
6. Break up the routine from time to time to make things more exciting.
7. Learn to accept your partner for the things that you like and don’t like. Respect each other’s differences. Allow your partner to be themselves. If we mold our partner to be what we wish they were, then we only love the reflection of ourselves.
8. Everyone needs alone time. Take a personal day and enjoy being with yourself. Go for a walk, have a spa day, hit some balls on the golf course, or whatever else you find relaxing.
9. Surprise your partner. Try a card to let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her, a smiley face balloon to brighten a tough day at work, a bouquet of seasonal flowers, or a gourmet box of chocolates to share while watching a romantic movie. Surprises can also come in other forms. Straightening up the garage or cleaning up the kitchen can be a great gift.
10. Intimacy not only means physical affection, it also means emotional affection. Take time to talk to your partner about your emotional and physical needs. Discuss how you can improve in these areas and follow through.
11. Equally divide chores. Evenly distributed chores could equal more intimacy.
12. Experience something new. Maybe redo a room together or learn how to make sushi this Friday night. Check out the website Pinterest for ideas that might interest both of you.
13. Schedule some uninterrupted time for the two of you on the family calendar.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/05/how-to-refresh-your-relationship-today/

3 Keys to a Happy Relationship, According to Researchers

A new study claims it has found the three keys to a happy romantic relationship. And much to my surprise, none of my guesses–expressing your feelings solely through interpretive dance and icy, silent glares; taking off your bra to distract during an argument; and settling major relationships issues with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors–made the list.

So what are the key factors linked to happy couplehood? The study tested 2,201 participants referred by couples counselors on seven “relationship competencies” believed to be important in promoting happiness in romantic relationships. The researchers tested for communication, conflict resolution, sex, stress management, life skills, knowledge of one’s partner, and self-management. Of the seven, only three had strong links to relationship happiness:

1. Communication
This is the big one—and probably the least surprising one to anyone particularly good or bad at communicating with their partner. Expressing your needs and feelings to your partner in a positive way was key to the happiness of the relationship.


2. Knowledge of Your Partner
Do you know your partner’s dark secrets? Their hopes and dreams? Their favorite book, guilty pleasure TV show, least favorite pizza topping? Though the importance of communication speaks to emotional needs within a relationship, this one is more practical…but just as important. Robert Epstein, the study’s lead author, points out that strengthening this aspect of the relationship can be relatively easy—as easy as remembering your anniversary, your partner’s birthday, and the names of the friends and relatives. The big stuff is also important—critical subjects like whether you and your partner want children is must-know information.

3. Life Skills
Losing out on promotions because you’re always late? Forget to pay the cable bill on time… every month? Struggle to add money to your savings account to prepare for the future? Those things can erode your relationship even if it’s healthy in other ways. “Communication skills are necessary,” Lisa Neff, a couples researcher at the University of Texas at Austin told Time, “but they’re not sufficient when couples are under stress.”

Do you agree with the three key factors to relationship happiness that this study found? What are the key factors that keep your own relationship happy?

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-3-keys-to-a-happy-relationship.html

12 Body Language Tips For Career Success

When properly used, body language can be your key to greater success. It can help you develop positive business relationships, influence and motivate the people who report to you, improve productivity, bond with members of your team, and present your ideas with more impact. Here are a dozen tips for using body language to project confidence, credibility, and your personal brand of charisma:

1. Stand tall and take up space. 

Power, status, and confidence are nonverbally displayed through the use of height and space. Keeping your posture erect, your shoulders back, and your head held high makes you look sure of yourself.


2. Widen your stance. 

When you stand with your feet close together, you can seem hesitant or unsure of what you are saying. But when you widen your stance, relax your knees and center your weight in your lower body, you look more “solid” and confident.


3. Lower your vocal pitch. 

In the workplace, the quality of your voice can be a deciding factor in how you are perceived. Speakers with higher-pitched voices are judged to be less empathic, less powerful and more nervous than speakers with lower pitched voices. One easy technique I learned from a speech therapist was to put your lips together and say “Um hum, um hum, um hum.” Doing so relaxes your voice into its optimal pitch. This is especially helpful before you get on an important phone call – where the sound of your voice is so critical.


4. Try Power Priming. 

To display confidence and be perceived as upbeat and positive, think of a past success that fills you with pride and confidence.


5. Strike a Power Pose. 

6. Maintain positive eye contact.

You may be an introvert, you may be shy, or your cultural background may have taught you that extended eye contact with a superior is not appropriate, but businesspeople from the U.S., Europe, Australia (and many other parts of the world), will expect you to maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time. Here’s a simple technique to improve eye contact: Whenever you greet a business colleague, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.

7. Talk with your hands. 

Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca’s area, which is important for speech production, is active not only when we’re talking, but also when we wave our hands. Since gesture is integrally linked to speech, gesturing as you talk can actually power up your thinking. Whenever I encourage clients to incorporate gestures into their deliveries, I find that their verbal content improves, their speech is less hesitant, and their use of fillers (“ums” and “uhs”) decreases. Experiment with this and you’ll find that the physical act of gesturing helps you form clearer thoughts and speak in tighter sentences with more declarative language.


8. Use open gestures. 

Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands — the ultimate “see, I have nothing to hide” gesture — are silent signals of credibility and candor. Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden or held close to the body, etc.) Also, if you hold your arms at waist level, and gesture within that plane, most audiences will perceive you as assured and credible.


9. Try a steeple. 

You see lecturers, politicians and executives use this hand gesture when they are quite certain about a point they are making. This power signal is where your hands make a “steeple” — where the tips of your fingers touch, but the palms are separated. When you want to project conviction and sincerity about a point you’re making, try steepling.


10. Reduce nervous gestures. 

When we’re nervous or stressed, we all pacify with some form of self-touching, nonverbal behavior: We rub our hands together, bounce our feet, drum our fingers on the desk, play with our jewelry, twirl our hair, fidget — and when we do any of these things, we immediately rob our statements of credibility. If you catch yourself indulging in any of these behaviors, take a deep breath and steady yourself by placing your feet firmly on the floor and your hands palm down in your lap, on the desk or on the conference table. Stillness sends a message that you’re calm and confident.


11. Smile. 

Smiles have a powerful effect on us. The human brain prefers happy faces, and we can spot a smile at 300 feet – the length of a football field. Smiling not only stimulates your own sense of well being it also tells those around you that you are approachable and trustworthy.


12. Perfect your handshake. 

Since touch is the most powerful and primitive nonverbal cue, it’s worth devoting time to cultivating a great handshake. The right handshake can give you instant credibility and the wrong one can cost you the job or the contract. So, no “dead fish” or “bone-crusher” grips, please. The first makes you appear to be a wimp and the second signals that you are a bully.

Handshake behavior has cultural variations, but the ideal handshake in North America means facing the other person squarely, making firm palm to palm contact with the web of your hand (the skin between the thumb and first finger) touching the web of the other person’s hand, and matching hand pressure as closely as possible without compromising your own idea of a proper professional grip.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/08/21/12-body-language-tips-for-career-success/

5 Easy Ways To Get Happy

Pursuing your dreams can have its challenges and sometimes be very emotional. However, it's important to stay focused on your goals and put your mind on the positive to fuel your drive to achieve. Guard your thoughts and emotions by intentionally taking action to keep your spirits high. In my office, we have a saying, "If anything can go well, it will!" Expect good things to happen for you and you'll see that more good will come your way! Below are five quick ways to help you the next time you're feeling down and out. Dig yourself out of the dumps with these proven strategies to a happier life.

1. Meditate 15 to 20 minutes every day. 

Meditation can be a life-changing force in your life. The act of solitude can solve many problems. For example, when I was going through a rough divorce in my 20s, I would rise early and escape to my sweet spot where I just cleanse my mind of negative thoughts and visualize a happy future.

2. Guard what you listen to. 

Surround yourself with positive people, have positive conversations and take a break from negative news. To protect your positive mind and atmosphere, refuse to say, hear or agree with any negative words, especially about your life, day or personal economy.

Instead, flip the switch and replace all negative expressions with positive ones. Say statements that create joy in your life. I challenged my clients to take a positivity challenge. For 30 days, speak positive about every situation. They used my personal positivity calendar to chart their progress. You can create your own by recording at least one positive thing that happens each day for 30 days. This challenge will shift your perspective and help you keep a watch on your words while charting a path to a much happier life.


3. Use goal cards.

If you focus on what's possible, your passion to accomplish goals will increase dramatically. Goal cards make this process very simple. Studies show people who review and visualize their written goals are more apt to manifest what they see. There's no better feeling of happiness than to achieve something that you really desire in your life.

4. Eat energy-producing foods. 

Eat lots of proteins and greens and drink water daily. When you feel healthy and alert, your confidence level goes up and makes you a much happier person.

Unhealthy eating and a sedentary lifestyle can have a negative affect on your mood. When you upgrade your body image by eating better and working out, you will immediately begin to upgrade your outlook and feel better about yourself.


5. Surround yourself with things that give you a happy outlook. 

Pictures of fond family memories, artwork, quotes, a happy screensaver on your computer or even fresh flowers. Often, I have my clients create happiness sticky notes where they write messages to affirm their goals, or simple words of encouragement like, "You can do it!" "You're loved!" "You're beautiful!" I tell them to post it to their computer, stick it on a desk or vision board so they can see it often.

Hold on to happiness
Take 10 minutes each morning to see yourself in a happy situation.Be grateful
Look for something to be happy about
Keep a happiness journal

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stacia-pierce/happiness-tips_b_3750932.html

Take Time To Nurture Yourself

Women are often the primary nurturers. Women carry the pregnancy and breast-feed the baby. They are the epicenter of healthcare decisions for the family and are more likely to be the caregiver when a family member falls ill. They are often the limo driver, the chef and the chief financial officer of the household. And in addition to caring for kids and a partner, they are often the front line for caring and supporting parents as they age.

Does this sound familiar? If so, my question to you is this: Who is nurturing you? Who is nurturing the nurturer? Who is making sure that you are getting the time, attention and emotional support that you need and deserve?

If there isn’t a clear answer to this question, pause a moment and realize – the need is still there; the desire to be nurtured is still there; the impact of not being nurtured is still there.

So what can you do? First, realize it’s OK to have needs. Next decide who in your immediate world you can reach out to for nurturing. In some cases there may be no obvious choice to fill this role for you.

That’s OK, too. There is still you and you have a powerful position. You can allo­cate some of the time you are using to nurture others and reserve it for yourself.

Set aside some you-time for an ex­ercise or yoga class or a walk or for reading a book. Maybe it is eating lunch with a friend. Maybe it is two 15-minute meditations you do by your­self. Even talking on the phone with a woman friend can be very therapeutic.

What you do isn’t the goal. It’s taking time to restore yourself and your “self”; to focus on you and not onthem. Remember in the airplane, the person says, “In the unexpected case of an emergency and oxygen is needed, when the oxygen mask falls, place it on your head first and then place it on the head of your child.”

Every nurturer needs to be nurtured. Are you making you-time to nurture you?

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/you-time-take-time-to-nurture-yourself.html

4 Methods to Make Personal Development A Lot More Fun

Personal development can be fun. But often times, it can also feel like a chore. You have to do this, and practice that, and you don’t really feel like it, and you’re not seeing fast enough improvements, and you’re frustrated and disheartened.

In the long term, if you wanna keep developing yourself and see meaningful changes in your life, it’s important for personal development to be fun; to be able to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

Over the years, being a big self-improvement fan, I’ve tested various methods to make it more fun. I’ve identified 4 that create mind-blowing effects, and I’m gonna share them with you in the following paragraphs.

1. Stop Thinking You Need Personal Development
Most people tend to go into personal development with the perception that they are broken and they need fixing. They see themselves as damaged goods at some level, and they see self-improvement as the necessary solution.

However, this is rarely, if ever the case. You’re not broken and you don’t need fixing. Sure, you may have your flaws and imperfections, but doesn’t everybody? And that doesn’t make them defective.

When you realize this and you accept it, you stop seeing self-improvement as something you need, and you start to see it as something you want. You want it because you know bettering yourself will result in a better life, but you don’t truly need it. It’s a personal choice.

Coming from this angle makes self-improvement a lot more fun. It takes the pressure off and it permits you to take pleasure in the process. It’s like: “If it goes well, great, if not, oh well, at least I enjoyed it”. And this is an amazing mindset to have.

2. Always Reward Progress
Personal development can be slow. Change doesn’t happen overnight, and the desired results frequently refuse to show up with the intensity you want them to have. And this creates frustration.

There is a workaround this frustration, which is to reward yourself for every small progress you make. It can take you years to reach your desired destination. But you’ll make progress every single day. Why not take pleasure in it?

Well, you can do this. Firstly by acknowledging all progress and being grateful for it, and secondly by rewarding yourself for it.

What gives you instant gratification? Movies, games, relaxation, going out? Use these elements as rewards for sticking to the process, and for every step forward. Just one disclaimer: try to use rewards that don’t damage your life in the long-run. Avoid rewards like drinking, smoking, etc.

3. Do It Together With Others
Most activities are more fun when done along with other people than when done alone. Personal development is definitely one of them.

When one or more other people accompany you on the same journey, you share stories, you learn from one another, you support each other, and the journey is visibly more delightful.

That’s why it’s good to have company in self-growth. This company can be a friend you have in real life, which you get to join you on your journey. If you want, for instance, to work on building your public speaking skills over the next year, tell some friends about this and see if you can get them to join you.

It can also be people on a blog or personal development forum. These environments often create a good opportunity for people with similar goals to communicate, help each other and make the process fun. So if your real friends are not helpful regarding your self-improvement, try some virtual ones.

4. Choose Fun Personal Development Activities
Most personal development goals can be reached through a range of personal development exercises or activities. And some are a lot more fun than others.

You can increase your communication skills by going to formal social events and carefully studying every word you say, or by going to chill parties, talking with lots of people, being genuine and seeing what happens. The second choice will likely be a lot more fun.

Whatever self-improvement goals you have, take some time to consider how to go about reaching them. Try to see the full array of possibilities and out of them choose the ones that seem most enjoyable.

Don’t jump on the first road you see. If you just look around a bit, you might find a much better one slightly to the side of the first one.

I can vouch from experience that personal development can be a lot of fun. In fact it can be so much fun that the destination becomes secondary, and you just wanna be on the journey. Because it’s a fulfilling, integral part if your lifestyle, and your life simply wouldn’t be the same without it. That’s a great place to be in.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/4-methods-to-make-personal-development-a-lot-more-fun/

6 Ways to Keep Your Family Healthy

“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life!” said Albert Einstein. An inspiring exhortation. But before we can fill our homes with smiles, we need to fill our lives with verve and good health. Some simple but essential steps in this direction can help you create a healthy, happy home. Here are some suggestions:

1. Have two apples a day: and I am not talking about ‘Apple’ appliances! The old saying of an apple a day has now changed to two a day. Scientists at Florida University have found that two apples can significantly reduce bad cholesterol, thus protecting you from stroke and heart attack. Get the family to enjoy apples, be it just on their own or in non-sugared cobblers. Make sure they’re organic!

2. Plan your daily meals: it is not always possible or easy, but worth trying to do. Before you go grocery shopping, try to chalk up a health-boosting menu—even a rough one will do—for the coming few days at least. This will help you ditch impulse buys such as cookies and chips, and shop for healthier ingredients and create a more balanced meal plan for the entire family.

3. Don‘t eat late dinners: eating a meal after sunset places a strain on the digestive system. As far as possible, eat together, and eat light at night. Not only will you sleep better, but also avoid putting on weight. Big bonus: shared meals bring you closer and promote emotional harmony.

4. Play! playing together helps you stay together. Besides, riddles, puzzles and brain-sharpening games can help ward off degenerative diseases such as Alzheimer’s.

5. Encourage early bed time: and that is not just for the kids in the family. Sleeping early is perhaps one of the biggest favors you can do for yourself. It helps you wake up refreshed, balances the emotions and promotes good digestion. Stay off those late night TV shows and put away the crime thrillers that lie by your bedside. Create a peace-promoting ambiance in your home post twilight.

6. Talk: Sharing promotes caring. In these days of online networking, it is easy to be distracted and disconnected from those who live with you and love you. It is not uncommon to see children messaging their parents from within the same house! Switch off the Internet, get off the phone, and have a cosy chat. This can go a long way in restoring emotional balance within your home.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/6-ways-to-keep-your-family-healthy.html

Want Help With Personal Development? Try These Tips

Developing yourself is essential to improving your life in both a mental and emotional level. To reach your own personal development goals, you need to be educated on what can and cannot work for you. Read this article to get started on your personal development journey.

Find people you can relate to.

When you have others around you who think and feel as you do, then you can avoid the negativity that can emerge from those who do not support your endeavors.

Seek out other like-minded individuals. 

This will create a reinforcing environment for meeting your goals and also help you avoid people who will bring you down with constant criticism.

In order to get as much as you can out of your efforts with personal development, you need to take care of your body physically. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, and exercising on a regular schedule so that you have enough energy during the day, and you will find it will be a little easier to reach success. While this may sound like an easy thing to do, it can actually prove quite challenging at times.

Determine the things that you value....

...so that you can better come up with an excellent personal development strategy for your needs. It is not smart to focus on things that do not line up with your values and morals. Focus on positive aspects to improve. These aspects should mesh with your values. Implementing a plan for personal development can improve both your work and home life in the future.

If you want to enhance your approach to personal development, learn to be humble. Realizing that you are but a small part of the bigger picture will potentially open your mind to attaining new insights. Once this idea gets instilled in your mind, you will want to know, understand and learn new things, therefore, improving yourself.

If you want to make progress in the area of personal development, you need to declare lowliness. You will want to learn all you can, once you realize that you have only scratched the surface of all there is to be known. Staying aware of this will broaden your perspective and increase your quest for knowledge, leading to a better you.

Compliment other people. 

Doing the exact opposite and being kind to others will help you be kind to yourself.

If you want to start improving your life....

.....you have to stop engaging in harmful activities. Do you feel like you drink too much alcohol? Do you smoke or do other activities that may be harmful to your health? Your body should be treated with the respect it deserves. Look at how you are living your life, and check if you are participating in any negative habits that should be eliminated.

Go to the movies with a friend. This activity will force you to be around others, but you do not have to talk to them very much, which will minimize your discomfort. You can use the trip as an opportunity to become accustomed to the company of others.

It is hoped that this article was of assistance with ideas on how you can personally develop yourself for the better. You can always find new and innovative ways to improve the person that you are. It doesn't matter how old you are, as long as you’re motivated you can make changes, so do what it takes to turn into a better person while you can.

http://featuringdave.com/want-help-with-personal-development-try-these-tips/

5 Tips To Enjoy The Personal Development Journey

Ah, the path of self-inquiry and personal development. It is a brave and beautiful thing to investigate the depths and dimensions of your inner world but it’s very easy to get caught up wanting change to happen NOW and soon you find you are just trying tooooo hard. 

Here are 5 ideas from me that may help make your personal development journey a more peaceful and enjoyable one. 



1. Be mindful of the ego, which is essentially a function of the mind.
Yes even personal development is an environment that the ego can thrive in and as you begin to investigate your inner world it can play up and make you anxious about your progress. It is the ego that compares us to others and it is the ego that pushes us to transform now!. Through awareness we can learn to ignore the ego and find the ease within our efforts towards learning and transformation.

2. Be your own best friend.
Let go of the ego’s idea that this is corny and begin to treat yourself in the same way you would your nearest and dearest. Whether you are striving to become a more loving, understanding, tolerant or open-minded person (or all of the above), you will certainly enjoy more success if you can be more patient and supportive of yourself and your efforts.

3. Lighten up!
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Great that you want to become a better person, but have fun doing it. There may be times that you fall off the proverbial horse, but learning to laugh at yourself will help you get back up and enjoy the rest of the ride.

4. Surround yourself with like-minded people (who share similar goals and values).
If your aim is to become a better version of yourself you will find you have more success when you spend time with other people who are also driven in the same way. The yoga world for example, is filled with people who are committed to growing and learning themselves as well as being very willing to support others on their path.

5. Be relaxed with yourself.
There’s no need to transform overnight! Allow yourself time to enjoy the process of learning and developing and remember those wise words written by Ralph Waldo Emmerson: “Life is a journey not a destination”.


http://bubblesandbackbends.com/1/post/2013/06/5-tips-how-to-enjoy-the-personal-development-journey.html