9 Tips for Seizing Control Of Your Life

1. Here today, gone today – live life now! Security is an illusion, so seize life today.

2. Follow your inner compass – your intuition. When you commit to the journey, you will always end up in a place you describe and recognise as better than your starting point.For me, intuition is a feeling I get in my stomach that a certain course of action should be pursued- normally it makes no sense from a rational perspective! For others, it is a compelling inner voice, sending them on their journey. The key is to find out how your intuition delivers. Then, once you’ve identified it, use it as your compass. The more you use it, the stronger this “core muscle” works.

3. Don’t commit your dreams and aspirations to the “normal” pros and cons approach. Remember, in the context of your dreams, knowledge will always give you enough reasons not to act.

4. Self awareness is the most important attribute a leader could develop, according to the Stanford Business School Advisory Committee, so start the journey today. Remember seeing, not solving, the problem is the ultimate challenge. When you are on the trip, you start to see!

5. Become a sponge – move towards expert status in your niche! You are a lot less than 10,000 hours away from not just getting, but creating a job! A commitment to ongoing learning is a key attribute of achievers.

6. Discover your purpose: live on flow and you’ll never truly work another day in your life! Reflect on your values and interests – this may give you an insight into your bliss.

7. Model off past success strategies. Even some of the highest achievers I have worked with around the world in companies had a disempowering inner dialogue running.The fact is, you have already shown you have what it takes to live the dreams. As a child, you mastered the art of walking and talking by intuitively knowing that failure brought you closer to success. The Global Entrepreneurial Monitor highlights “fear of failure” as the number one obstacle for potential entrepreneurs.
“Fear” or “failure” were not an issue when you were a child. Add to that the levels of creativity you enjoyed as a child… the ability to let emotions come and go… how curious you were… and you will realise you have truly shown you have what it takes to re-engage in life.

8. Be open to the fact that everybody can be your teacher – from the most annoying person in your life at the moment to the uninhibited child. This type of thinking will open the door to teachers that will show you the way!

9. Take the first step NOW! Crossing the bridge from inaction to action may be the longest bridge in the world, but when you get to the other side, watch your life transform into one of magic and adventure! Remember, the first step can be small or big!

http://inspiremetoday.com/brilliance/9-tips-seizing-control-of-life/

Forget Regrets–Embrace Your Experiences!

We all have stories that make us smile and others that we prefer to forget. We all have experienced personal and professional ups and downs. This is part of the human experience and we should appreciate every moment.

Do not regret the past, as difficult as that may be. The past is behind you with nothing but knowledge in its wake. You can’t change the past, so why not make it an educational tool no different than when you first learned to ride a bike?

Do not be disappointed or discouraged about today. Today is temporary and tomorrow is on its way. Tough times are palatable and surmountable when you look at them from this vantage point.

Do not feel that you are alone in any obstacles that you may be experiencing. You are not alone, for many have struggled in similar ways and their stories abound. Look at it this way; success and failure all have the same byproduct – “wisdom.” Wisdom is a gift gained from the past that serves as the foundation of our future, and if you share it with others, you are helping them on their life’s journey as well.

Share your stories and pay forward your wisdom. Hearing stories of perseverance gives people hope. Such narratives tell people that they are not alone and that they will ultimately prevail.

You are valuable in every sense of the word. What you have already accomplished on this planet is inspirational and motivational to others around the globe. So remember… we are all mentors just by the sheer impression of our footsteps.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/forget-regrets-embrace-your-experiences.html

Scared? 5 Tips For Using Fear As Fuel

Recently I have been thinking about fear and how it relates to behavior. We typically avoid things that scare us, which, of course, makes perfect sense. We have evolved an instinctive fear of threats and this avoidance behavior is ingrained in us as a way to protect us from harm. However, as is often the case, in the modern world our natural biological defenses can unnecessarily hold us back from deep fulfillment. Many times, that which we instinctively fear can actually be harmless, or even a blessing.

But in order to assess a fear I have found that you have to unpackage it first, to really consider its components and sources, and to figure out whether it’s worth ignoring. By way of example, I recently experienced some fear in dating a man who is unable to walk. When I really thought about my reaction I realized that it was simply a fear of the unknown.

Fear can be something that keeps you from moving forward, from being all that you can be. When you forgo an opportunity, remember, it just might have turned out to be something life changing, or something that you would have loved — you just don’t know. The key is determining whether your fear is borne out of a real danger, or if it is simply the result of apprehension in facing the unknown. In business growth, it’s most likely the latter, not the former. Having a strategy to face fear and move through it can be a huge tool for success. Here are 5 suggestions that may help you get started:

1. Think about your fear, dissect it, and try to determine if it’s a fear of the unknown or a real danger.
2. Learn about it. Do some research. What do other people say about this fear when they experience it? What are the pros and cons of tackling this fear? Let’s say it’s public speaking. What would the impact be on your career or life by focusing on this?
3. Ask a lot of questions. Find other people that have tackled whatever you have fear about and ask them how they approached it. What are the rules of the road? What are some tips, tricks etc.?
4. Find someone to do it with you. When we resist doing something it’s easy to let ourselves down. It’s much more difficult to let someone else down. When I am feeling less motivated to workout, I make a workout date. There is no question whether or not I will show up — I will.
5. Recall how it feels once you have tried conquering your fear. Most people will say that facing a fear is one of exhilaration. I know from personal experience that the things or activities that I fear and conquer end up being some of my proudest moments.

Some fears you know and can plan for. Others just pop up out of nowhere.Use the New Year as a reason to stretch yourself, to attempt a new marketing strategy, to try a new activity that scares you.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/scared-5-tips-for-using-fear-as-fuel.html?page=1

How To Express Your Feelings In A Respectful Way

People often tell me that they have problems maintaining calm and respectful communication with their partner even though they intended to. They start out fine, but can’t follow through when their partner responds in disrespectful or angry ways. Some of these couples need the presence of an experienced couples therapist to be able to maintain calm and repair disruptions.

This article offers a communication model that outlines how to practice maintaining communication regarding how you feel in an honest and open way while keeping your calm. This is not about feeling good or even comfortable. This is about practicing staying calm even though you feel hurt and angry.

The rationale for this is having a fuller understanding of each other’s perspectives. Feeling angry doesn’t necessarily mean that you are bound to break up. It means that there is something you need to take care of.

If you manage to find solutions together, you will feel closer, safer, and understood on a deeper level. Imagine explaining to your partner that you are hurt and angry in a calm way. Also, imagine that your partner is able to hear you and respond in a loving way.

Because it is easier to express positive feelings and talk about what’s right in your relationship, I will recommend that you start with five positive statements about yourself, your partner, and your relationship. Build from the following, if you like:

What do you love about your partner?

What do you love about the relationship?

What is most important to you?

Give a concrete example of what makes you feel loved.

Give a concrete example of what you look forward to.

Expressing your love, appreciation, and willingness to stay connected and find solutions together is essential for your partner’s willingness to hear you out and consider your requests and proposed solutions to problems you are having.

Expressing feelings of frustration, anger, fear, and sadness is a lot harder and takes some consideration. If you are able to stay calm and collected while you talk about your feelings, your chances of staying on track are higher. If you avoid blaming your partner and instead talk about what you feel, think, and what is important to you and why, it is more likely that your partner will respond positively.

Try to make it easier for your partner to listen to you and refrain from interrupting you and subsequently defending herself/himself. Try to make your statements more about yourself than about your partner. This is probably one of the hardest things to do. Self-expression is about defining yourself and what is most important to you, which is not easy when you are feeling upset and hurt.

It is natural in a relationship to feel at times that the other person is to blame. However, if you consider the matter, you will become aware that you have a responsibility for your own responses and reactions, and how you function as a partner has an influence on the relationship. Your feelings are your own, and to blame others for them is not conductive for your individual or relationship growth.

Before you start expressing feelings of anger and hurt, I recommend that you think about what you are going to say and how you are going to say it. Consider the following:

What are your feelings? Do you feel angry, hurt, sad, scared, lonely, jealous, guilty, etc.?

Give concrete examples such as, “I feel scared when you don’t call.”

Focus more on what you feel, think, and want, not on your partner’s shortcomings. “I feel lonely and I miss what we used to do together.”

Tell your partner why it is important to you that you honestly and openly express your feelings. Make sure you explain that self-expression goes both ways, and that it takes courage to talk about feeling vulnerable. Showing vulnerabilities is a sign of strength, and talking openly and honestly about how you feel is not a weakness.

Be mindful of how you express yourself. Tone of voice, facial expressions, body language, and eye contact are more important than most people think. Most of what you actually communicate to your partner has to do with how you communicate.

Be open and explicit about your intentions for having the conversation.

Make sure you are not having this conversation to get back at your partner. If you are very angry, you might feel vengeful. If that is the case, calm yourself and consider what is most important to you and what kind of partner you would like to be.

Don’t expect immediate success. Self-expression is a skill which takes practice to master. Ask for professional help if you need to.

http://grohhealthyliving.com/how-to-express-your-feelings-in-a-respectful-way/

How To Do Comfort Food The Easier Way

Comfort food is the ultimate antidote to longer nights and frankly miserable weather. Add in some very good telly, and we're helpless against the tide of sinking into the sofa with something hot and deliciously fatty.

But just as much as we love a good bowl of food (preferably with some form of potato), we also hate the panic that precedes the gamut of festive parties, where you then have to shoehorn your comfort food belly into a pair of Spanx.

So, is it time for a rethink?

We asked some of the top nutritionists for their advice and suggestions.



Sweet potatoes
"Fancy a warming mash? Then use sweet potatoes," says nutritionist Karen Poole."They will reduce the overall cooking time and have a lower glycemic load so they are a good slow release energy source to help keep blood glucose levels balanced throughout the day."

Expert Emily Maguire adds: "Sweet potatoes have a much lower GI and GL content meaning they will not spike your blood sugar which can result in hunger and cravings for foods high in sugar."


Dark chocolate
If you do end up craving chocolate, go for a 70% dark chocolate, melt it in the microwave and pour it over strawberries, says Emily. "These two ingredients are packed full of natural antioxidants that help protect the body from substances called free radicals which can attack healthy cells resulting in many conditions and also contribute to ageing."

The full English breakfast
How, you ask, is this healthy? Emily reveals that it's all in the ingredients. "The English breakfast has gotten a fair whack for being unhealthy, but choosing the correct quality ingredients (e.g. proper meat sausages) and method of cooking, makes this an ideal comfort breakfast."

Healthy meat alternatives
"Turkey is a great lean protein choice," says Karen, "and if you use it to make spag bol, will lower the fat content of the dish. It is a source of tryptophan to aid serotonin production the feel-good hormone to help us face the cold gray days of winter."

Similarly, she advises making a shepherd’s pie with a mixture of green lentils, tomato and dried wild mushrooms instead of minced lamb. "It can help you regulate your cortisol levels and reduce the overall impact of stress while also aiding liver function."



Go brown
"When you are making a risotto," says Karen, "choose brown risotto rice now available from most major supermarkets. This will increase the fibre content promoting gut function and efficiency to keep your bowel movements regular and aid digestion."

Use raw oats
"A comforting after dinner fruit crumble can work to lower your cholesterol level by simply adding raw oats into the crumble mix," says Karen, "as the beta glucan bind with cholesterol and carry it out of your body.
Breakfast time
Go for Greek yogurt, says Emily, as it's packed full of essential fatty acids needed for optimal health as well as being much lower in sugar than the fruit flavoured counter parts.

"At breakfast spread organic almond butter onto your brown toast instead of jam or honey," continues Karen. "This is a natural source of essential fats needed to boost positive mood and improve concentration."



When cooking a roast...
Karen says: "When you are cooking a Sunday dinner increase the vitamin, mineral and fibre content by roasting a mix of winter vegetables instead of just regular potatoes. Including squash, pumpkin, turnip and parsnip will provide a great mix of polyphenols to aid cardio vascular health, energy production and weight management.

"Make roasted vegetables more healthy by adding fresh lemon juice to the mix before they go into the oven. This will provide a liquid to aid cooking and means you can use less oil so reducing the overall fat and calorie intake."

Don't shy away from fresh herbs
"Fresh herbs will provide flavour and texture to most dishes and means you won't need to use as much salt therefore reducing the risk of high blood pressure and bloating," advises Karen.

"They are also a good source of antioxidants that can help combat the ravages of free radicals produced by everyday living. Growing your own is easy and will keep down the cost."

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/10/25/healthy-comfort-food-diet-winter-warmers_n_4163191.html?ir=UK+Lifestyle

The Sunday Night Blues Are Real -- Here's How To Beat Them

In theory, the 62 hours between 6 p.m. on Friday evening and 8 a.m. on Monday morning are a blissful reprieve from the stress of the workweek. But even if you manage to leave work at work, the reality is that Sundays are often dominated by that sinking feeling that the workweek is looming. 

The phenomenon is a real one -- 78 percent of respondents in a recent international Monster.com poll reported experiencing the so-called "Sunday Night Blues." And a whopping 47 percent said they get it "really bad." In the U.S., that number jumps to 59 percent.

The Sunday Night Blues are created by a combination of realizing weekend fun is coming to an end and anticipating the beginning of five days of pressure, meaning it can strike even those who like their jobs. "Work is now spread out into home life with increasing demands because of email and the ability to work remotely," says Steven Meyers, professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, Ill. "Work has become more of a drain for many people than it was a decade or two ago. There's more to dread nowadays."

But a case of the blues doesn't have to derail your Sunday. Below are five expert-approved strategies for beating that end-of-weekend anxiety.

Relax and distract.
Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to forget about it. "Feelings of anxiety and depression are most common when the person is not particularly busy," Meyers says. "So enjoyable activities that redirect your attention are especially important. Spending time with others, doing things that you find fun, exercising [and] devoting time to hobbies are all good ways to keep busy so that dread doesn't creep into your mind."

Identify the times you tend to feel anxious as the weekend wears on (Sunday NightBlues can be a misnomer -- sometimes it starts Sunday morning or afternoon), and purposely plan something to keep your mind focused on something else during those times.

Put your feelings on paper.
Still can't squelch the feeling of impending doom on Monday Morning Eve? Try writing down exactly what it is that's bothering you. "It's a catharsis to get it out on paper ... It's like flushing a toilet: You get it out on paper and you have flushed your system out," says James Campbell Quick, professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at The University of Texas at Arlington. "Plus, when you go back and look at it you may realize that some of what you're thinking and feeling is a little off reality."

Listing out exactly what's bothering allows you to "weigh the evidence and examine the facts that are underneath the feelings," Meyers says. He recommends also writing down plans to address each of the stressful situations, because this can help "people reappraise the scope and scale of the stresses that they're looking at over the next several days."

Unplug.
In a world of 24/7 connectivity, there's almost always an option to check in at work -- and that means nine-to-five, five-days-a-week jobs are often a relic of the past. It can be easy to allow the stresses of workweek to seep into your precious time off and tempting to use Sunday as a chance to get a jumpstart on the week. But, as much as you can, it's important to spend time unplugged, even if you can only manage a few hours.

Disconnecting on the weekends can allow you the time you need to recharge your batteries after a stressful week, says Joanie Ruge, senior vice president at the career site Monster.com, which conducted the Sunday Night Blues survey. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking some time off will allow you to be even more productive when you get back to the grind.

Schedule something to look forward to.
"We shouldn't save all of our fun times for the weekend," Meyers says. Strategically setting up little things to look forward to throughout the upcoming week, and even the following weekend, can help to soothe some of your Sunday-evening dread.

These activities don't need to be elaborate (think: watching a TV show, making a phone date with a friend or going out to dinner). "Any of these are small enough to be feasible for workweek activities but large enough to make you feel excited or hopeful," Meyers says. Yup, DVR-ing DWTS totally counts.

Set yourself up for success.
Sometimes Sunday night is too late to think about the Sunday Night Blues. Next week, try setting aside some time on Friday afternoon to prepare for Monday, getting things organized so you have less to feel stressed about over the weekend. "Take some time to plan, even if that means you don't dash for the door at 5 p.m. on a Friday," Ruge says. "It actually will help you have a much better and more enjoyable weekend."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/13/sunday-night-blues_n_4086390.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Manage Your Expectations, Lower Your Stress

When my newly-married sister announced earlier this year that she was pregnant, she was excited -- and oddly quiet about it. She worried intensely and often (as I imagine most mothers do). She didn't like talking about it. What if something went wrong? She didn't want to jinx things her first time out.

That baby is now four months old and the happiest kid I've seen. He smiles easily and often, and my sister's fears were all for naught. But the fact is that her fearful imaginings made things harder and more stressful for her. Her expectation -- that something that could go wrong would, and that she wouldn't be able to handle it -- raised her stress levels considerably.

Your outlook is a product of your own relationship with expectation. What will or won't happen, no one knows. And how we deal with the stress of not knowing, whether to hope for the best or expect the worst, the idea that our expectations always directly affect an outcome is little more than magical thinking.

(If you're a control freak like me, you'll be well aware of how uncomfortable this makes you. Discover ways to curb that inner ogre.)

Your outlook, in the end, is a choice. Some optimists claim to be born with a sunny disposition, and yet they still get to choose how they anticipate and respond to the world around them -- which they have as little control over as a pessimist. The difference is that an optimist can always find something good about what happened.

A true dyed-in-the-wool pessimist, however, likely says he didn't choose that outlook -- the world has simply not proved to be worthy of more. Wrong. Pessimism is a choice, too. It's also a last-ditch effort at control. Because, if things go as wrong as you suspect, you can say, I knew it would happen. Show me a person ruled by pessimism and I'll show you a person who's afraid to get their hopes up.

Here are a few ways to shift your expectations -- and reduce your stress:

• Reframe stress itself. Jan Bruce, CEO of meQ, recently posted a blog about how framing stress as bad can make stress worse -- and so even your expectation of stress and its effects can take a toll (based on psychologist and researcher Kelly McGonigal's work on the subject). Rather than worry that stress is going to screw everything up, learn to see stress as an ally. Your stress response, after all, is your body's effort to cope with external risks and threats. When you can see it that way, and not as some outside enemy, you can reinterpret that stress as you rising to the occasion, rather than the world crashing down on you.
• Stop expecting people to agree with you. This comes from a great post ("7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others") on inspirational writers Marc and Angel's blog. If you go into every day expecting that there should be universal acceptance of your ideas and thoughts, you set yourself up for disappointment:
  "You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else."
• Stop expecting people to read your mind. At meQ, Mind Reading is one of the key Thinking Traps that get people stuck. It presumes a few things: One, that if someone really loved you, they would know, and second, that it's everyone else's job to anticipate your needs and wants. This creates stress -- not to mention tension in relationships. Speak up! Communicate precisely what you need and why before you get upset or annoyed. You can cut those emotional responses off at the pass, and change the nature of your day.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mequilibrium/managing-expectations_b_4086393.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

What Is The Secret Of Success?

What is the secret of success? According to a new study by Talent Smart and published in Psychology Today, the secret of success in the workplace may be having a high emotional quotient (EQ). Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence “is the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one’s own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others.”

Their research showed that 90% of high performers in the workplace possess a high emotional quotient, while 80% of low performers have a low EQ.

There are many different tests (and whole books written) on the topic of emotional intelligence and how to determine your emotional quotient. Here’s a short one from the University of Washington. Of course, most of these tests are self-graded so there may be a bias if a person is unrealistic in their self-assessment.

According to the Psychology Today article, here are five ways to boost your emotional intelligence:

1. Improve the ability to deal with so-called “negative“ emotions. While the author of the article defines some emotions as negative, the reality is that most emotions can be constructive if we learn to express them in a helpful way. Learning to deal with anger, frustration, and other difficult emotions in a way that doesn’t overwhelm us or affect our judgement is critical to success. There are many ways to deal with difficult emotions, which include: writing them out, going for a brisk walk, waiting a while before sending out that angry e-mail, or spending time in nature. Of course, these are just a few. I’d love to hear from you about the ways you deal with difficult emotions.

2. Stay cool under pressure. Boosting the ability to remain calm under pressure is one way to handle stressful situations in an assertive, rather than a reactive, way. Simply breathing deeply and counting to ten prior to expressing anger can be helpful. Similar to number one, vigorous activity or spending some time in nature can also help us keep our cool.

3. Pay attention to social cues. People with a high EQ are generally more accurate in their interpretation of others’ emotional, verbal, and physical expressions. They also tend to be effective at communicating their intentions. The author suggests coming up with multiple interpretations of someone’s expressions or actions instead of jumping to conclusions about his or her behavior. And, avoid personalizing someone else’s behavior. Seek clarification about someone else’s intentions or feelings if you are uncertain.

4. Be assertive and express difficult emotions when necessary. Set boundaries. Say “no” if you really need to and don’t feel guilty about it. Avoid trying to be superwoman or superman, taking on every responsibility that someone throws at you. I’ve been asked on occasion why I seem to have a positive outlook on aging while so many people desperately try to look and act younger. My response is simple: I would never want to go back to being younger now that I’ve gained more confidence and a stronger sense of myself, along with the ability to say “no” and set clear boundaries, without feeling guilty.

5. Express intimate emotions in close relationships. Another key to success is building and maintaining strong intimate relationships and one of the best ways to do that is to learn to share emotions in a constructive way and respond positively when another person does so. Of course, knowing with whom to share these emotions is also imperative. Some emotions are best reserved for strong personal relationships, not just acquaintances. But finding ways to let someone know they are important, cared for, or loved is important to relationships but also our self-worth and our emotional quotient. As John Donne aptly wrote, “no man is an island.” Strong relationships give us a solid foundation from which to experience life.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-secret-of-success.html

Physical Techniques: Deep Breathing, Progressive Muscular Relaxation & The Relaxation Response

Introduction:
This tool introduces three useful physical relaxation techniques that can help you reduce muscle tension and manage the effects of the fight-or-flight response on your body. This is particularly important if you need to think clearly and perform precisely when you are under pressure.

Deep Breathing:
Deep breathing is a simple but very effective method of relaxation. It is a core component of everything from the "take ten deep breaths" approach to calming someone down, right through to yoga relaxation and meditation. It works well in conjunction with other relaxation techniques such as Progressive Muscular Relaxation, relaxation imagery and meditation to reduce stress.
To use the technique, take a number of deep breaths and relax your body further with each breath. That's all there is to it!


Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR):
Progressive Muscular Relaxation is useful for relaxing your body when your muscles are tense. The idea behind PMR is that you tense up a group of muscles so that they are as tightly contracted as possible. Hold them in a state of extreme tension for a few seconds. Then, relax the muscles to their previous state. Finally, consciously relax the muscles even further so that you are as relaxed as possible.
By tensing your muscles first, you will probably find that you are able to relax your muscles more than would be the case if you tried to relax your muscles directly.

Experiment with PMR by forming a fist, and clenching your hand as tight as you can for a few seconds. Then relax your hand to its previous tension, and then consciously relax it again so that it is as loose as possible. You should feel deep relaxation in your hand muscles.

For maximum relaxation you can use PMR in conjunction with breathing techniques and imagery.


The “Relaxation Response”:
We mentioned “The Relaxation Response” in our article on Meditation. In a series of experiments into various popular meditation techniques, Dr. Benson established that these techniques had a very real effect on reducing stress and controlling the fight-or-flight response. Direct effects included deep relaxation, slowed heartbeat and breathing, reduced oxygen consumption and increased skin resistance.

This is something that you can do for yourself by following these steps:

• Sit quietly and comfortably.
• Close your eyes.
• Start by relaxing the muscles of your feet and work up your body relaxing muscles.
• Focus your attention on your breathing.
• Breathe in deeply and then let your breath out. Count your breaths, and say the number of the breath as you let it out (this gives you something to do with your mind, helping you to avoid distraction).
• Do this for ten or twenty minutes.

An even more potent alternative approach is to follow these steps, but to use relaxation imagery instead of counting breaths in step 5.
Summary:
“Deep Breathing,” “Progressive Muscular Relaxation,” and the steps leading to the “Relaxation Response” are three good techniques that can help you to relax your body and manage the symptoms of the fight-or-flight response.

These are particularly helpful for handling nerves prior to an important performance, and for calming down when you are highly stressed.

http://www.mindtools.com/stress/RelaxationTechniques/PhysicalTechniques.htm

5 Easy Ways to Overcome Negative Thinking

Negative thoughts often sneak up when people are stressed, anxious, or depressed. And once they take root, they can impede more helpful, critical, and logical thinking.

Here are 5 simple and easy ways to manage negative thoughts when they appear.

1. Help your body relax: breathe deeply 5 times; take a drink of water; loosen up your arms and legs, roll your shoulders. If you have the time, you can even do progressive relaxation. Having a body that is relaxed will make your mind less stressed and encourage new problem solving.
2. Think of the ultimate worst case scenario. I do mean worst case. In my example it would be that the car would run out of gas, my phone wouldn’t work to call for help and no one would stop for us, and we’d spend the night in the car. Extremely unlikely. Coming up with the worst case scenario forces your mind to think outside the box.
3. Ask for help from someone you trust. If you lost a job, ask a close friend for help understanding why. If you struggle with your weight, talk with your doctor. Don’t let shame or embarrassment keep you stuck. The more minds that work at solving a problem, the better.
4. Make a plan. It doesn’t have to be super long or incredibly detailed. The purpose is to give you an outline or a map of what to do next. My plan was to find all the cash I could, to estimate how far my car would go on the gas I had, talk to my husband for his thoughts on the situation, drive slowly to conserve fuel, and to look for a store that would take checks and allow me to get cash back.
5. Replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Don’t just think them, though. Write them out and put them where you will see them: on your bathroom mirror, your steering wheel, as a screensaver on your computer.

Negative thoughts can bog people down and prevent them from problem solving. The more you can rid yourself of them, the freer your mind will be to problem solve rather than perseverate.

In the end, I was able to clearly think through a plan to deal with the problem. I made it home with the empty gas light on, but I made it home. And I wasn’t bitter or angry or stressed. Well, maybe a touch stressed…

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/your-life/2013/09/5-easy-ways-to-overcome-negative-thinking/

Your Face Tells The Story When You’ve Had a Bad Night’s Sleep

Humans can detect facial emotions well and use this skill to judge trustworthiness, aggressiveness and competence. New research shows that sleep deprivation affects facial features such as the eyes, mouth and skin, and these features function as cues of sleep loss to other people.

Researchers discovered that the faces of sleep-deprived individuals were perceived as having more hanging eyelids, redder eyes, more swollen eyes and darker circles under the eyes. Sleep deprivation also was associated with paler skin, more wrinkles or fine lines, and more droopy corners of the mouth.

People also looked sadder when sleep-deprived than after normal sleep, and sadness was related to looking fatigued.

“Since faces contain a lot of information on which humans base their interactions with each other, how fatigued a person appears may affect how others behave toward them,” said Tina Sundelin, the lead author and a doctoral student in the department of psychology at Stockholm University.

“This is relevant not only for private social interactions, but also official ones such as with health care professionals and in public safety.” The study, which appears in the journal Sleep, was conducted at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden.

Researchers photographed 10 subjects on two separate occasions: after eight hours of normal sleep and after 31 hours of sleep deprivation. The photographs were taken in the laboratory at 2:30 p.m. on both occasions. Forty participants rated the 20 facial photographs with respect to 10 facial cues, fatigue and sadness.

According to the authors, face perception involves a specialized neuronal network and is one of the most developed visual perceptual skills in humans. 

http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/09/03/your-face-tells-the-story-when-youve-had-a-bad-nights-sleep/59143.html

How To Refresh Your Relationship Today

Relationships — like everything we do in life — don’t really operate as well as we think they do on auto-pilot. While everything may seem fine on the surface, dig a little deeper and you’ll find two people who are unhappy, but just don’t know how to broach the subject.

Let’s face it, sometimes our romantic relationships can just become stagnant.

It’s time to reignite the flame and restore the passion that you and your partner deserve.

How do you do it? Click through to find out!

1. Be social. Look for healthy couples to hang out with. Summer is almost over, but there’s still time for barbecues, pool parties, camping, picnics in the park, and going to the beach. Socializing with other couples will bring about new adventures to add to your list.
2. Make your partner feel special. Let him or her know that your relationship is at the top of your priority list. Brainstorm different ways that you can show them daily.
3. Learn to be an effective communicator. Being a good communicator means being a good listener. Most couples listen with the intent to reply. Instead, listen with the intent to understand.
4. Play nice. It’s not always going to be fun and games. There will be times that you and your partner don’t get along. Watch your tone. No name-calling, no degrading, and no blaming. Before you speak, ask yourself, “is this helping or hurting the relationship?” If you slip up, don’t forget to apologize.
5. Volunteering at a church, soup kitchen, women’s shelter, animal shelter, Red Cross, or nursing home is a great way to give back to the community and will leave you and your partner with a sense of accomplishment.
6. Break up the routine from time to time to make things more exciting.
7. Learn to accept your partner for the things that you like and don’t like. Respect each other’s differences. Allow your partner to be themselves. If we mold our partner to be what we wish they were, then we only love the reflection of ourselves.
8. Everyone needs alone time. Take a personal day and enjoy being with yourself. Go for a walk, have a spa day, hit some balls on the golf course, or whatever else you find relaxing.
9. Surprise your partner. Try a card to let your partner know how much you appreciate him or her, a smiley face balloon to brighten a tough day at work, a bouquet of seasonal flowers, or a gourmet box of chocolates to share while watching a romantic movie. Surprises can also come in other forms. Straightening up the garage or cleaning up the kitchen can be a great gift.
10. Intimacy not only means physical affection, it also means emotional affection. Take time to talk to your partner about your emotional and physical needs. Discuss how you can improve in these areas and follow through.
11. Equally divide chores. Evenly distributed chores could equal more intimacy.
12. Experience something new. Maybe redo a room together or learn how to make sushi this Friday night. Check out the website Pinterest for ideas that might interest both of you.
13. Schedule some uninterrupted time for the two of you on the family calendar.

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/09/05/how-to-refresh-your-relationship-today/

Becoming A Better Listener…To Yourself

There are many articles on how we can become better listeners to others. (I’m actually writing a short piece on this very topic.)

But I think it’s just as important to focus on listening to ourselves,actively listening to ourselves.

Just like we might not fully listen to someone else, we might not fully listen to ourselves, either. Which can chip away at our well-being, self-care and satisfaction.

Listening to ourselves helps us make decisions that are truly right for us. It helps us cultivate habits that are genuinely nourishing.

It helps us set emotional and physical boundaries, boundaries that are respectful and honor ourselves. It helps us respond to our needs and take better and kinder care of ourselves.

Here are six ideas for listening to yourself.

1. Practice a body scan. A body scan is a valuable and simple way to reconnect to your body. It helps you focus your attention on your body, pinpointing any tension and then releasing it. Here are several guided body scans to try. 
2. Set an alarm. Set an alarm on your phone to go off every hour. Ask yourself how you’re feeling. Are you tense? Are you tired? Are you hungry? Are you anxious or angry or hurt? Are you stressed? Are you distracted? Identify what you’re feeling or experiencing. Then ask yourself: What do I need right now?
3. Be present. It’s hard to listen to someone when your mind happens to be somewhere else. The same goes for listening to yourself. Be in the moment. Avoid ruminating about the past or trying to forecast the future. Avoid multitasking. Focus on the here and now. Use your five senses to absorb the moment. Give yourself your full attention.
4. Write it down. Jot down your concerns, thoughts and feelings. Simply start with: “What I want to tell myself is…” It might feel funny to have a conversation with yourself. But it’s also helpful to tune into your ruminations and emotions. Remind yourself that you’re listening. You are open. You’re ready to hear what’s really going on.
5. Keep digging. Truly listening to someone means not making assumptions. So one way to turn that around when thinking about yourself is to keep asking, “Why?” Don’t assume something at face value, even about yourself. Dig deeper. You might learn that the reason you think you’re upset isn’t the real reason after all. Which not only helps you better understand yourself, but also helps you move forward and take the right steps for you. So consider: Why am I feeling this way? Why am I behaving this way? Why do I want this? Keep asking “Why?” Keep digging deeper, and you just might make an important discovery.
6. Empathize. Putting yourself in another person’s shoes helps you better understand where they’re coming from. And doing so makes you a great listener. Practice showing that empathy to yourself. This probably sounds like a silly suggestion since you’re experiencing whatever it is firsthand. Of course, you fully understand the pain or pleasure. But often we don’t empathize with ourselves. Often we bash ourselves for feeling certain feelings, for not getting over a situation, for being too “weak.” We don’t give ourselves permission to feel our feelings. We don’t give ourselves permission to comprehend what’s going on. Have compassion for yourself. Have compassion for what you’re feeling and experiencing. 

How do you listen to yourself? What helps you really hear yourself?

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/weightless/2013/09/becoming-a-better-listener-to-yourself/

Get The Most From Your Personal Development Journey With These Simple Tips

Starting a personal development plan is the hardest part. Your personal being is so multifaceted, it’s almost impossible to comprehend. Where, then, do you start? A few simple actions can help you start moving towards your personal goals for self-improvement, whatever those goals may be. You will find numerous tips to help you reach your personal development goals.

It is possible to learn how to cope in a crisis without letting your emotions take full control. If you can keep your cool in times of stress, you can overcome a variety of obstacles. Take a moment and focus on your breathing technique.

There will usually be a difference in where you are in life, and where you want to be. This first step is certainly one of the hardest, and many people have a hard time committing themselves past this point. Without a clear understanding of exactly where you need to go, the process of achieving your personal development goals will be long and frustrating.

Respect your body’s boundaries in pursuit of any goal you might have. You should always put forth your best effort, but you also need to stay within your limits. You have to keep your body in mind when you are trying to accomplish something. Sacrificing what your body needs is counter-productive in improving yourself.

Succeed at everything you set your mind to. The passions you have should always make you want to achieve greatness. You can never be as good as you could be at one single thing but you can try to be the best you can be in what you are interested in. Increase your professional skillset, and you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Strive to improve daily so that each one is more perfect than the previous. It is important to make sure you keep pushing yourself every day to keep improving. Try and improve yourself daily.

Personal development starts with leadership. When thinking about leadership, think about it in terms of your level of influence on the world around you. Review your total experiences as a leader. Which experiences have been enriching for you? How have these events shaped your life? Ask yourself which qualities make you a good leader. By knowing yourself and your motives better, you can more easily integrate into a leadership role with others.

Talking to a professional counselor or a pastor can be an extremely rewarding experience. These people are educated and licensed to handle any problems you have, and usually have experience as well. They’ll eagerly listen, analyze what’s going on and help you find enlightenment. You may find that sharing your personal issues with a professional will open the door to health and happiness.

As you can see, personal development is simpler than it looks. By breaking your personal development process into small, manageable goals, you’ll find yourself closer to your goals by the end of every day. You’ll be able to practice what you’re seeking to adopt as habit, and you’ll increase your own morale to continue. These tips are only a springboard, it’s up to you to build a better life.

http://www.osteopatiainternacional.com/get-the-most-from-your-personal-development-journey-with-these-simple-tips/