5 Steps Towards Resilience

The opposite of depression is not happiness, according to Peter Kramer, author of "Against Depression" and "Listening to Prozac," it is resilience: the ability to cope with life’s frustrations without falling apart. Proper treatment doesn’t suppress emotions or dull a person’s ability to feel things deeply. It builds a protective layer -- an emotional resilience -- to safeguard a depressive from becoming overwhelmed and disabled by the difficulties of daily life. Here, then, are five steps toward resilience.


1. Sleep
Sleep is crucial to sanity because sleep disturbances can contribute to, aggravate, and even cause mood disorders and a host of other illnesses. The link between sleep deprivation and psychosis was documented in a 2007 study at Harvard Medical School and the University of California at Berkeley. Using MRI scans, they found that sleep deprivation causes a person to become irrational because the brain can’t put an emotional event in proper perspective and is incapable of making an appropriate response.

2. Diet
My diet has always been an important part of my recovery from depression, but two years ago -- after working with the naturopath and reading Kathleen DesMaison’s "Potatoes Not Prozac" -- I could more competently trace the path from my stomach to my limbic system. Moreover, I recognized with new clarity how directly everything that I put in my mouth affects my mood.

Here are the bad boys: nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, sugar, white flour, and processed food -- you know, what you live on. Here are the good guys: protein; complex starches (whole grains, beans, potatoes); vegetables; vitamins (vitamin B-complex, vitamins C, D, and E, and a multivitamin); minerals (magnesium, calcium, and zinc); and omega-3 fatty acids. I’m religious about stocking up on Omega-3 capsules because leading physicians at Harvard Medical School confirmed the positive effects of this natural, anti-inflammatory molecule on emotional health.

3. Exercise
Studies showed that the depressives who improved with exercise were less likely to relapse after 10 months than those treated successfully with antidepressants, and the participants who continued to exercise beyond four months were half as likely to relapse months later compared to those who did not exercise. Even as little as 20 minutes a week of physical activity can boost mental health. In a new Scottish study, reported in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, 20,000 people were asked about their state of mind and how much physical activity they do in a week. 

Exercise relieves depression in several ways. First, cardiovascular workouts stimulate brain chemicals that foster growth of nerve cells. Second, exercise increases the activity of serotonin and/or norepinephrine. Third, a raised heart rate releases endorphins and a hormone known as ANP, which reduces pain, induces euphoria, and helps control the brain’s response to stress and anxiety. Other added benefits include improved sleep patterns, exposure to natural daylight (if you’re exercising outside), weight loss or maintenance, and psychological aids.

4. Relationships And Community
We are social creatures and are happiest when we are in relationship. One of the clearest findings among happiness research is that we need each other in order to thrive and be happy, that loving relationships are crucial to our well-being. Relationships create a space of safety where we can learn and explore. Belonging to a group or a community gives people a sense of identity. Studies indicate that social involvement can promote health, contribute toward faster recovery from trauma and illness, and lower risk of stress-related health problems and mental illness.

Plenty of evidence indicates that support groups aid the recovery of person struggling with depression and decrease rates of relapse. Another study in 2002, published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, followed a group of more than 100 persons with severe depression who joined online depression support groups. More than 95 percent of them said that their participation in the online support groups helped their symptoms. The Depression Center here at Everyday Health are a great resource.

5. Purpose
The father of positive psychology, Martin Seligman, explains in his book, "Authentic Happiness," that a critical element to happiness exists in using your signature strengths in the service of something you believe is larger than you. After collecting exhaustive questionnaires he found that the most satisfied people were those that had found a way to use their unique combination of strengths and talents to make a difference. Dan Baker, Ph.D., director of the Life Enhancement Program at Canyon Ranch, believes that a sense of purpose -- committing oneself to a noble mission -- and acts of altruism are strong antidotes to depression. And then there’s Gandhi, who wrote: "the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/11/how-to-be-resilient_n_4065246.html?utm_hp_ref=gps-for-the-soul&ir=GPS%20for%20the%20Soul

The Sunday Night Blues Are Real -- Here's How To Beat Them

In theory, the 62 hours between 6 p.m. on Friday evening and 8 a.m. on Monday morning are a blissful reprieve from the stress of the workweek. But even if you manage to leave work at work, the reality is that Sundays are often dominated by that sinking feeling that the workweek is looming. 

The phenomenon is a real one -- 78 percent of respondents in a recent international Monster.com poll reported experiencing the so-called "Sunday Night Blues." And a whopping 47 percent said they get it "really bad." In the U.S., that number jumps to 59 percent.

The Sunday Night Blues are created by a combination of realizing weekend fun is coming to an end and anticipating the beginning of five days of pressure, meaning it can strike even those who like their jobs. "Work is now spread out into home life with increasing demands because of email and the ability to work remotely," says Steven Meyers, professor of psychology at Roosevelt University in Chicago, Ill. "Work has become more of a drain for many people than it was a decade or two ago. There's more to dread nowadays."

But a case of the blues doesn't have to derail your Sunday. Below are five expert-approved strategies for beating that end-of-weekend anxiety.

Relax and distract.
Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to forget about it. "Feelings of anxiety and depression are most common when the person is not particularly busy," Meyers says. "So enjoyable activities that redirect your attention are especially important. Spending time with others, doing things that you find fun, exercising [and] devoting time to hobbies are all good ways to keep busy so that dread doesn't creep into your mind."

Identify the times you tend to feel anxious as the weekend wears on (Sunday NightBlues can be a misnomer -- sometimes it starts Sunday morning or afternoon), and purposely plan something to keep your mind focused on something else during those times.

Put your feelings on paper.
Still can't squelch the feeling of impending doom on Monday Morning Eve? Try writing down exactly what it is that's bothering you. "It's a catharsis to get it out on paper ... It's like flushing a toilet: You get it out on paper and you have flushed your system out," says James Campbell Quick, professor of Leadership and Organizational Behavior at The University of Texas at Arlington. "Plus, when you go back and look at it you may realize that some of what you're thinking and feeling is a little off reality."

Listing out exactly what's bothering allows you to "weigh the evidence and examine the facts that are underneath the feelings," Meyers says. He recommends also writing down plans to address each of the stressful situations, because this can help "people reappraise the scope and scale of the stresses that they're looking at over the next several days."

Unplug.
In a world of 24/7 connectivity, there's almost always an option to check in at work -- and that means nine-to-five, five-days-a-week jobs are often a relic of the past. It can be easy to allow the stresses of workweek to seep into your precious time off and tempting to use Sunday as a chance to get a jumpstart on the week. But, as much as you can, it's important to spend time unplugged, even if you can only manage a few hours.

Disconnecting on the weekends can allow you the time you need to recharge your batteries after a stressful week, says Joanie Ruge, senior vice president at the career site Monster.com, which conducted the Sunday Night Blues survey. It might seem counterintuitive, but taking some time off will allow you to be even more productive when you get back to the grind.

Schedule something to look forward to.
"We shouldn't save all of our fun times for the weekend," Meyers says. Strategically setting up little things to look forward to throughout the upcoming week, and even the following weekend, can help to soothe some of your Sunday-evening dread.

These activities don't need to be elaborate (think: watching a TV show, making a phone date with a friend or going out to dinner). "Any of these are small enough to be feasible for workweek activities but large enough to make you feel excited or hopeful," Meyers says. Yup, DVR-ing DWTS totally counts.

Set yourself up for success.
Sometimes Sunday night is too late to think about the Sunday Night Blues. Next week, try setting aside some time on Friday afternoon to prepare for Monday, getting things organized so you have less to feel stressed about over the weekend. "Take some time to plan, even if that means you don't dash for the door at 5 p.m. on a Friday," Ruge says. "It actually will help you have a much better and more enjoyable weekend."

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/13/sunday-night-blues_n_4086390.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Manage Your Expectations, Lower Your Stress

When my newly-married sister announced earlier this year that she was pregnant, she was excited -- and oddly quiet about it. She worried intensely and often (as I imagine most mothers do). She didn't like talking about it. What if something went wrong? She didn't want to jinx things her first time out.

That baby is now four months old and the happiest kid I've seen. He smiles easily and often, and my sister's fears were all for naught. But the fact is that her fearful imaginings made things harder and more stressful for her. Her expectation -- that something that could go wrong would, and that she wouldn't be able to handle it -- raised her stress levels considerably.

Your outlook is a product of your own relationship with expectation. What will or won't happen, no one knows. And how we deal with the stress of not knowing, whether to hope for the best or expect the worst, the idea that our expectations always directly affect an outcome is little more than magical thinking.

(If you're a control freak like me, you'll be well aware of how uncomfortable this makes you. Discover ways to curb that inner ogre.)

Your outlook, in the end, is a choice. Some optimists claim to be born with a sunny disposition, and yet they still get to choose how they anticipate and respond to the world around them -- which they have as little control over as a pessimist. The difference is that an optimist can always find something good about what happened.

A true dyed-in-the-wool pessimist, however, likely says he didn't choose that outlook -- the world has simply not proved to be worthy of more. Wrong. Pessimism is a choice, too. It's also a last-ditch effort at control. Because, if things go as wrong as you suspect, you can say, I knew it would happen. Show me a person ruled by pessimism and I'll show you a person who's afraid to get their hopes up.

Here are a few ways to shift your expectations -- and reduce your stress:

• Reframe stress itself. Jan Bruce, CEO of meQ, recently posted a blog about how framing stress as bad can make stress worse -- and so even your expectation of stress and its effects can take a toll (based on psychologist and researcher Kelly McGonigal's work on the subject). Rather than worry that stress is going to screw everything up, learn to see stress as an ally. Your stress response, after all, is your body's effort to cope with external risks and threats. When you can see it that way, and not as some outside enemy, you can reinterpret that stress as you rising to the occasion, rather than the world crashing down on you.
• Stop expecting people to agree with you. This comes from a great post ("7 Things You Should Stop Expecting from Others") on inspirational writers Marc and Angel's blog. If you go into every day expecting that there should be universal acceptance of your ideas and thoughts, you set yourself up for disappointment:
  "You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours. In fact, the more you approve of your own decisions in life, the less approval you need from everyone else."
• Stop expecting people to read your mind. At meQ, Mind Reading is one of the key Thinking Traps that get people stuck. It presumes a few things: One, that if someone really loved you, they would know, and second, that it's everyone else's job to anticipate your needs and wants. This creates stress -- not to mention tension in relationships. Speak up! Communicate precisely what you need and why before you get upset or annoyed. You can cut those emotional responses off at the pass, and change the nature of your day.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mequilibrium/managing-expectations_b_4086393.html?utm_hp_ref=healthy-living

Physical Techniques: Deep Breathing, Progressive Muscular Relaxation & The Relaxation Response

Introduction:
This tool introduces three useful physical relaxation techniques that can help you reduce muscle tension and manage the effects of the fight-or-flight response on your body. This is particularly important if you need to think clearly and perform precisely when you are under pressure.

Deep Breathing:
Deep breathing is a simple but very effective method of relaxation. It is a core component of everything from the "take ten deep breaths" approach to calming someone down, right through to yoga relaxation and meditation. It works well in conjunction with other relaxation techniques such as Progressive Muscular Relaxation, relaxation imagery and meditation to reduce stress.
To use the technique, take a number of deep breaths and relax your body further with each breath. That's all there is to it!


Progressive Muscular Relaxation (PMR):
Progressive Muscular Relaxation is useful for relaxing your body when your muscles are tense. The idea behind PMR is that you tense up a group of muscles so that they are as tightly contracted as possible. Hold them in a state of extreme tension for a few seconds. Then, relax the muscles to their previous state. Finally, consciously relax the muscles even further so that you are as relaxed as possible.
By tensing your muscles first, you will probably find that you are able to relax your muscles more than would be the case if you tried to relax your muscles directly.

Experiment with PMR by forming a fist, and clenching your hand as tight as you can for a few seconds. Then relax your hand to its previous tension, and then consciously relax it again so that it is as loose as possible. You should feel deep relaxation in your hand muscles.

For maximum relaxation you can use PMR in conjunction with breathing techniques and imagery.


The “Relaxation Response”:
We mentioned “The Relaxation Response” in our article on Meditation. In a series of experiments into various popular meditation techniques, Dr. Benson established that these techniques had a very real effect on reducing stress and controlling the fight-or-flight response. Direct effects included deep relaxation, slowed heartbeat and breathing, reduced oxygen consumption and increased skin resistance.

This is something that you can do for yourself by following these steps:

• Sit quietly and comfortably.
• Close your eyes.
• Start by relaxing the muscles of your feet and work up your body relaxing muscles.
• Focus your attention on your breathing.
• Breathe in deeply and then let your breath out. Count your breaths, and say the number of the breath as you let it out (this gives you something to do with your mind, helping you to avoid distraction).
• Do this for ten or twenty minutes.

An even more potent alternative approach is to follow these steps, but to use relaxation imagery instead of counting breaths in step 5.
Summary:
“Deep Breathing,” “Progressive Muscular Relaxation,” and the steps leading to the “Relaxation Response” are three good techniques that can help you to relax your body and manage the symptoms of the fight-or-flight response.

These are particularly helpful for handling nerves prior to an important performance, and for calming down when you are highly stressed.

http://www.mindtools.com/stress/RelaxationTechniques/PhysicalTechniques.htm

Your Face Tells The Story When You’ve Had a Bad Night’s Sleep

Humans can detect facial emotions well and use this skill to judge trustworthiness, aggressiveness and competence. New research shows that sleep deprivation affects facial features such as the eyes, mouth and skin, and these features function as cues of sleep loss to other people.

Researchers discovered that the faces of sleep-deprived individuals were perceived as having more hanging eyelids, redder eyes, more swollen eyes and darker circles under the eyes. Sleep deprivation also was associated with paler skin, more wrinkles or fine lines, and more droopy corners of the mouth.

People also looked sadder when sleep-deprived than after normal sleep, and sadness was related to looking fatigued.

“Since faces contain a lot of information on which humans base their interactions with each other, how fatigued a person appears may affect how others behave toward them,” said Tina Sundelin, the lead author and a doctoral student in the department of psychology at Stockholm University.

“This is relevant not only for private social interactions, but also official ones such as with health care professionals and in public safety.” The study, which appears in the journal Sleep, was conducted at the Karolinska Institute in Stockholm, Sweden.

Researchers photographed 10 subjects on two separate occasions: after eight hours of normal sleep and after 31 hours of sleep deprivation. The photographs were taken in the laboratory at 2:30 p.m. on both occasions. Forty participants rated the 20 facial photographs with respect to 10 facial cues, fatigue and sadness.

According to the authors, face perception involves a specialized neuronal network and is one of the most developed visual perceptual skills in humans. 

http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/09/03/your-face-tells-the-story-when-youve-had-a-bad-nights-sleep/59143.html

3 Keys to a Happy Relationship, According to Researchers

A new study claims it has found the three keys to a happy romantic relationship. And much to my surprise, none of my guesses–expressing your feelings solely through interpretive dance and icy, silent glares; taking off your bra to distract during an argument; and settling major relationships issues with a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors–made the list.

So what are the key factors linked to happy couplehood? The study tested 2,201 participants referred by couples counselors on seven “relationship competencies” believed to be important in promoting happiness in romantic relationships. The researchers tested for communication, conflict resolution, sex, stress management, life skills, knowledge of one’s partner, and self-management. Of the seven, only three had strong links to relationship happiness:

1. Communication
This is the big one—and probably the least surprising one to anyone particularly good or bad at communicating with their partner. Expressing your needs and feelings to your partner in a positive way was key to the happiness of the relationship.


2. Knowledge of Your Partner
Do you know your partner’s dark secrets? Their hopes and dreams? Their favorite book, guilty pleasure TV show, least favorite pizza topping? Though the importance of communication speaks to emotional needs within a relationship, this one is more practical…but just as important. Robert Epstein, the study’s lead author, points out that strengthening this aspect of the relationship can be relatively easy—as easy as remembering your anniversary, your partner’s birthday, and the names of the friends and relatives. The big stuff is also important—critical subjects like whether you and your partner want children is must-know information.

3. Life Skills
Losing out on promotions because you’re always late? Forget to pay the cable bill on time… every month? Struggle to add money to your savings account to prepare for the future? Those things can erode your relationship even if it’s healthy in other ways. “Communication skills are necessary,” Lisa Neff, a couples researcher at the University of Texas at Austin told Time, “but they’re not sufficient when couples are under stress.”

Do you agree with the three key factors to relationship happiness that this study found? What are the key factors that keep your own relationship happy?

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-3-keys-to-a-happy-relationship.html

Personal Development Tips That Can Get You Out Of Your Slump

Personal development is about bettering yourself and taking on things that improve upon who you are as a person. It involves gaining knowledge about yourself, and fulfilling your personal goals. You’ll find tips and techniques within this article which will help you to find success in your journey. Concentrating on one large change at a time, will make your metamorphosis easier.

Stress can impede your ability to be happy. Stress causes both physical and mental damage that increases in severity the longer we experience it. To retain clarity of mind and the motivation to work towards our goals, it is critical to banish unnecessary stress from our minds. Each day, take time to quiet your mind and relax. Having a time to refresh can give you peace and improve your self-image.

Read good articles about personal development. Personal development books that are well written, insightful and instructive can provide you with the information you need to significantly enhance your outlook and your life. Try to pick a volume that has already been well-received by others because poorly done books in this category are fairly common.

Tell other people positive things. By being kind to others, you will also begin to care about yourself more.

Write a pep talk for yourself. Make a list of all the good things about you, and put it on a postcard. Keep this inspirational card with you at all times. Better yet, record your qualities on video or audio and listen to it often. “Why would I want to do this?”, you may be asking.

Identifying your personal values are the stepping stone to figuring out a personal development plan that works for you. Trying to change yourself in ways that are not in line with your values, is not a good idea. Instead of this, you should focus your energy on the things that you want to develop that also go along with your own values. This enables you to make lasting changes in your life, both in a personal and a professional capacity.

Treat everyone with respect, no matter what they can do or how much power those people may have. The way you act toward others says something about your character, not theirs.

Instead of bragging abut your achievements and awards, ask other people about what they have accomplished that they are most proud of. This is a wonderful means of learning more about your peers and their abilities; you also might discover a new role model.

When you are handling depression stay focused on the things you eat and eat more complex carbohydrates. Serotonin can be depleted without enough complex carbs in your diet. This can also be achieved by upping your intake of raw fruits and veggies, legumes and whole grains.

Whether or not a person can make things happen for you, you must treat everyone with respect and gratitude. The way you behave toward others has more to do with your personality than with anything they say or do.

You have to not only decide what you want out of life, you also have to take steps to get it. Pondering an ideal life without taking the action to make it a reality will inevitably lead to nothing. Take action, and turn your dreams into reality.

So, as you have seen, it is true that self help requires research, work, and effort to start making changes that you can keep applying to your life. Also, to make changes in your life you’re going to have to keep trying. Apply the advice from this article, and you will be well on your way to better living.

http://featuringdave.com/personal-development-tips-that-can-get-you-out-of-your-slump/