3 Simple Ways To Get Heard - Even By Your Boss

During a planning session I conducted a couple of months ago with the senior team of a client company, I was asking the larger senior group for feedback on some agreements that had been made the day before by the smaller exec team. One of the senior leaders ventured a disagreement. She made an important point – but expressed it in such a confrontational and unclear way that the whole group immediately rejected it and started defending against it. I untangled the situation (one benefit of having a neutral third party in the room), and the point was eventually understood and incorporated, but it made me think about how the person could have framed it differently to get better results. Because if I, or someone like me, hadn’t been there, this executive’s approach almost assured that her point would have been lost in the flurry of negative reaction to her delivery.

I’ve seen this often: someone makes a key point, but his or her way of conveying it is so emotionally charged, or so extreme, or so laden with I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong overtones, that it’s nearly impossible for other people to hear the actual content of what’s being said.

If this has ever happened to you, or to people who work for you, and you’ve been frustrated about how to change the dynamic, here are three simple ways to help make sure a message gets heard:

1. Avoid using “always” and “never.” 

Even if you think it’s true. When I talked to this executive after the fact, she insisted that her use of the word “never” was justified…but even if that were true, it wouldn’t have mattered – unless it was more important to her to be technically accurate than to get heard. If you tell people that they “never” or “always” do “X”, they will reject your contention out of hand. Their immediate thought will be something like, “Come on, that’s just not true…I can think of at least two times when I have/haven’t done X.” And they’ll 100% forget the actual point you were trying to make. I believe that when we use these words, it’s often because we think it will help make our point more strongly – but trust me, it will backfire.

2. Make requests vs. complaints. 

Complaints say what’s not working; requests ask for a specific improvement. Simply put, a complaint sounds like,“You’re doing X wrong.” A request sounds like, “Could you do Y instead of X?” Complaints make people feel instantly defensive, and their energy then goes toward convincing you that their approach/actions/thinking are right, instead of toward considering your point of view. Requests, though, tend to be received as respectful and collaborative – creating much more room for actual hearing of your point. Here’s an example: imagine someone says to you, “Your people just don’t give us the information we need!” How might you react? Imagine, instead, that person says, “We’d really appreciate getting that information every Friday.” I suspect you’d be much more amenable to changing your behavior after the second sentence.

3. Lead with agreement.

If someone else states his or her point of view, and the first thing you do is disagree or take exception, the other person is likely to respond as though battle lines have been drawn: you on one side, him or her on the other. The two of you will almost certainly settle into defending your points of view, rather than trying to come to a workable middle ground. Even if you later say what you like or agree with about what they’ve said, it tends to be too late to repair the initial adversarial impression.

If, on the other hand, your response begins with something you sincerely like, find appealing, or concur with about the other person’s point of view, whatever you have to say after that (even a disagreement) is much more likely to be heard. Starting by focusing on the areas of agreement helps the other person see you as a supportive and collaborative partner, and will make it much more likely that he or she will be open to your subsequent concerns and suggestions.

A big part of having influence in any environment depends upon creating openness to your point of view. Using any of these approaches can help ensure that your ideas and insights get the hearing they deserve.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2013/12/10/3-simple-ways-to-get-heard-even-by-your-boss/

9 Promises To Bring You Happiness - By John Wooden

1. Promise yourself that you will talk health, happiness and prosperity as often as possible.
2. Promise yourself to make all your friends know that there is something in them that is special and that you value.
3. Promise yourself to think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best in yourself and others.
4. Promise to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are of your own.
5. Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
6. Promise to forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements in the future.
7. Promise to wear a cheerful appearance at all times and give every person you meet a smile.
8. Promise to give as much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
9. Promise to be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit trouble to press on you.

http://www.ginaparris.com/9-promises-to-bring-you-happiness/

What Is The Secret Of Success?

What is the secret of success? According to a new study by Talent Smart and published in Psychology Today, the secret of success in the workplace may be having a high emotional quotient (EQ). Emotional Quotient or Emotional Intelligence “is the ability to understand, manage, and effectively express one’s own feelings, as well as engage and navigate successfully with those of others.”

Their research showed that 90% of high performers in the workplace possess a high emotional quotient, while 80% of low performers have a low EQ.

There are many different tests (and whole books written) on the topic of emotional intelligence and how to determine your emotional quotient. Here’s a short one from the University of Washington. Of course, most of these tests are self-graded so there may be a bias if a person is unrealistic in their self-assessment.

According to the Psychology Today article, here are five ways to boost your emotional intelligence:

1. Improve the ability to deal with so-called “negative“ emotions. While the author of the article defines some emotions as negative, the reality is that most emotions can be constructive if we learn to express them in a helpful way. Learning to deal with anger, frustration, and other difficult emotions in a way that doesn’t overwhelm us or affect our judgement is critical to success. There are many ways to deal with difficult emotions, which include: writing them out, going for a brisk walk, waiting a while before sending out that angry e-mail, or spending time in nature. Of course, these are just a few. I’d love to hear from you about the ways you deal with difficult emotions.

2. Stay cool under pressure. Boosting the ability to remain calm under pressure is one way to handle stressful situations in an assertive, rather than a reactive, way. Simply breathing deeply and counting to ten prior to expressing anger can be helpful. Similar to number one, vigorous activity or spending some time in nature can also help us keep our cool.

3. Pay attention to social cues. People with a high EQ are generally more accurate in their interpretation of others’ emotional, verbal, and physical expressions. They also tend to be effective at communicating their intentions. The author suggests coming up with multiple interpretations of someone’s expressions or actions instead of jumping to conclusions about his or her behavior. And, avoid personalizing someone else’s behavior. Seek clarification about someone else’s intentions or feelings if you are uncertain.

4. Be assertive and express difficult emotions when necessary. Set boundaries. Say “no” if you really need to and don’t feel guilty about it. Avoid trying to be superwoman or superman, taking on every responsibility that someone throws at you. I’ve been asked on occasion why I seem to have a positive outlook on aging while so many people desperately try to look and act younger. My response is simple: I would never want to go back to being younger now that I’ve gained more confidence and a stronger sense of myself, along with the ability to say “no” and set clear boundaries, without feeling guilty.

5. Express intimate emotions in close relationships. Another key to success is building and maintaining strong intimate relationships and one of the best ways to do that is to learn to share emotions in a constructive way and respond positively when another person does so. Of course, knowing with whom to share these emotions is also imperative. Some emotions are best reserved for strong personal relationships, not just acquaintances. But finding ways to let someone know they are important, cared for, or loved is important to relationships but also our self-worth and our emotional quotient. As John Donne aptly wrote, “no man is an island.” Strong relationships give us a solid foundation from which to experience life.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/the-secret-of-success.html

12 Body Language Tips For Career Success

When properly used, body language can be your key to greater success. It can help you develop positive business relationships, influence and motivate the people who report to you, improve productivity, bond with members of your team, and present your ideas with more impact. Here are a dozen tips for using body language to project confidence, credibility, and your personal brand of charisma:

1. Stand tall and take up space. 

Power, status, and confidence are nonverbally displayed through the use of height and space. Keeping your posture erect, your shoulders back, and your head held high makes you look sure of yourself.


2. Widen your stance. 

When you stand with your feet close together, you can seem hesitant or unsure of what you are saying. But when you widen your stance, relax your knees and center your weight in your lower body, you look more “solid” and confident.


3. Lower your vocal pitch. 

In the workplace, the quality of your voice can be a deciding factor in how you are perceived. Speakers with higher-pitched voices are judged to be less empathic, less powerful and more nervous than speakers with lower pitched voices. One easy technique I learned from a speech therapist was to put your lips together and say “Um hum, um hum, um hum.” Doing so relaxes your voice into its optimal pitch. This is especially helpful before you get on an important phone call – where the sound of your voice is so critical.


4. Try Power Priming. 

To display confidence and be perceived as upbeat and positive, think of a past success that fills you with pride and confidence.


5. Strike a Power Pose. 

6. Maintain positive eye contact.

You may be an introvert, you may be shy, or your cultural background may have taught you that extended eye contact with a superior is not appropriate, but businesspeople from the U.S., Europe, Australia (and many other parts of the world), will expect you to maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time. Here’s a simple technique to improve eye contact: Whenever you greet a business colleague, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.

7. Talk with your hands. 

Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca’s area, which is important for speech production, is active not only when we’re talking, but also when we wave our hands. Since gesture is integrally linked to speech, gesturing as you talk can actually power up your thinking. Whenever I encourage clients to incorporate gestures into their deliveries, I find that their verbal content improves, their speech is less hesitant, and their use of fillers (“ums” and “uhs”) decreases. Experiment with this and you’ll find that the physical act of gesturing helps you form clearer thoughts and speak in tighter sentences with more declarative language.


8. Use open gestures. 

Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands — the ultimate “see, I have nothing to hide” gesture — are silent signals of credibility and candor. Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden or held close to the body, etc.) Also, if you hold your arms at waist level, and gesture within that plane, most audiences will perceive you as assured and credible.


9. Try a steeple. 

You see lecturers, politicians and executives use this hand gesture when they are quite certain about a point they are making. This power signal is where your hands make a “steeple” — where the tips of your fingers touch, but the palms are separated. When you want to project conviction and sincerity about a point you’re making, try steepling.


10. Reduce nervous gestures. 

When we’re nervous or stressed, we all pacify with some form of self-touching, nonverbal behavior: We rub our hands together, bounce our feet, drum our fingers on the desk, play with our jewelry, twirl our hair, fidget — and when we do any of these things, we immediately rob our statements of credibility. If you catch yourself indulging in any of these behaviors, take a deep breath and steady yourself by placing your feet firmly on the floor and your hands palm down in your lap, on the desk or on the conference table. Stillness sends a message that you’re calm and confident.


11. Smile. 

Smiles have a powerful effect on us. The human brain prefers happy faces, and we can spot a smile at 300 feet – the length of a football field. Smiling not only stimulates your own sense of well being it also tells those around you that you are approachable and trustworthy.


12. Perfect your handshake. 

Since touch is the most powerful and primitive nonverbal cue, it’s worth devoting time to cultivating a great handshake. The right handshake can give you instant credibility and the wrong one can cost you the job or the contract. So, no “dead fish” or “bone-crusher” grips, please. The first makes you appear to be a wimp and the second signals that you are a bully.

Handshake behavior has cultural variations, but the ideal handshake in North America means facing the other person squarely, making firm palm to palm contact with the web of your hand (the skin between the thumb and first finger) touching the web of the other person’s hand, and matching hand pressure as closely as possible without compromising your own idea of a proper professional grip.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/08/21/12-body-language-tips-for-career-success/

4 Ways To Boost Your Willpower

Willpower is essential to the accomplishment of anything worthwhile ~Brian Tracy 

Usually when people hear the word “willpower,” they think about things like losing weight or quitting smoking. 

Willpower is certainly helpful when it comes to trying to break those bad habits, but it can also be very beneficial in other areas of your life as well. Willpower is something we are not born with, but must nurture and build up in ourselves. Once you learn to strengthen your willpower, it will give you a leg-up in achieving your goals. How? Because you will then be able to develop an unshakable focus and intensity in purpose! 

So how do you go about building your willpower? 

1. Commit! 

You must be completely and thoroughly committed to reaching your goals. If you are not absolutely committed to what you want to accomplish, there is no way that you will be able to develop sustaining willpower. It is very difficult to be successful in achieving your goals if you harbor second thoughts, excuses, or doubts. Be absolutely honest with yourself and find that “thing” that you truly want to see through until the end. Also keep in mind that simply having the desire to succeed at something does not guarantee accomplishment or success. It is entirely possible for you to desire many things without making a firm commitment. So, you need to be able to figure out that you really want and then plan to take the appropriate actions. 

2. Call on your inner strength. 

Building your willpower takes perseverance. This is a time for you to call upon your inner strength, you know, that extra push you need to get through the tough times. You have made the commitment to take a journey to strengthen your willpower and accomplish your most challenging goals. Great! The truth is, you will have many days of success, but there will also be those days that don’t feel as triumphant. It is on those not-so-good days that you will need to call upon your inner strength to help you get back on track. Every person has an inner strength and most have used it on more than one occasion. Trust in it, and in yourself, and it will get you through your rough spots. 

3. Get support. 

Building your willpower to achieve a goal is a great undertaking. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. This is why it is so vitally important that you have good support in place during the journey. Share with a friend, significant other, or parent what you are trying to accomplish. In this way, when you hit a stumbling block, you will have someone who you have entrusted to help get you back on the right track. Your support system will help you through the hard times and will celebrate your successes with you. 

4. Consistency counts. 

If you have the willpower, for instance, to stop smoking for one week, that’s great and should indeed be celebrated. But the only way you are going to build your willpower up is to do whatever it takes to avoid a cigarettes today, again tomorrow, and forever. Then soon enough you will be celebrating two weeks, two months, two years, and then forever! 

This strategy applies to any goal that you are seriously devoted to accomplish. You must be willing to keep up the positive behavior all day, each and every day, no exceptions, and no excuses. 

Willpower can be a tricky thing. Everybody wants to develop it in order to break a bad habit or reach a particular goal. But in order to do so, you must be willing to go that extra mile and fully commit yourself to your success.

If you are committed, you are to be commended! As you achieve your goals, remember to celebrate your successes each and every day. 

What are you working on?

http://www.business2community.com/strategy/4-ways-to-boost-your-willpower-0583915?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=4-ways-to-boost-your-willpower

One Single Tip For Leadership Success

There are too many lists of tips for success in one endeavor or another that begin with a number larger than “1.” 

Today’s list is a single tip for leadership success. I don’t mean to mislead anyone–doing this one thing will not bring complete leadership success. What I am saying is it is an important enough practice that it deserves undivided attention, unencumbered by 4, 9, or 49 other tips that would distract you from remembering this one practice of truly great leaders. Here is the story of how I came to learn and appreciate this tip, for which I take no credit since I got it from someone else and proceeded to ignore it for most of my career.

Blaine Lee, now deceased, was a business consultant and author who worked with Stephen R. Covey. You’ve heard of Covey, of course, but probably not Lee. He wasn’t the most high profile member of Covey’s team. Far from prolific, he wrote only wrote one book, The Power Principle.

In 1994 I became friends with one of Lee’s sons. When, during a casual chat, I asked his son what his father did for a living, he responded “He works with businesses.” Until Lee’s book was published in 1998 that’s all I knew about my friend’s father. It was then realized my friend had been excessively humble about his father’s professional accomplishments. I bought the book and read it. It’s been 15 years, and while I don’t remember much else from the book I remember this one bit of advice for those wanting to have power or influence with others–make yourself accessible. That one point stuck in my head and has come back to me almost every single day since I started my business in 1999.

The reason I have been so constantly reminded of this point is because of how hard I have tried to ignore it. Like Poe’s tell tale heart, my attempts to make myself inaccessible have struck at my conscience, stabbing me with guilt each time I looked at a phone ringing and didn’t pick it up, marked an email for follow up, knowing I would never look at it again, or refused to engage people on Twitter. Whenever I avoided people instead of communicating with them, Blaine Lee would appear in my mind wagging his finger at me, telling me that as long as I refused to make myself accessible to people I was choosing to minimize my power and influence.

I had good reasons. When I started my business I was still a college student and newly married, so I was busy. I didn’t have time to answer every email. Most phone calls were from sales people trying to sell me things I didn’t want. The truth was I was avoiding issues I didn’t want to deal with and interpersonal situations where I would have felt uncomfortable. On my voicemail I invited people to send me an email, and then I never answered the phone. “If it’s important they can leave a voicemail or email me,” I would tell my wife when my cell phone rang. Then I would ignore half the emails I got as well, reading them quickly and marking them for follow up. Then they would get pushed below the fold and they were gone forever.

It shouldn’t be hard to see how this habit was damaging to my business. Over the years I saw relationships with clients, partners, and employees deteriorate due to a lack of communication. It culminated in early 2007 when I was forced to let all my employees go and shut down my office. For me that was my rock bottom. Granted, making myself inaccessible wasn’t the only reason my business was failing, but it was a big part of it.

For the next few years I retreated to a home office where I worked alone trying to pay off business debts and get my head around how to fix my business. I cut myself off more than ever and turned inward, focusing on myself. In some ways this was the right behavior at the time–I needed to sort myself out and get things under control. But in terms of being any sort of leader or serving others, it was a low point.

Thankfully I went through this in my early 30’s rather than my late 60’s. By the end of 2010 I had turned my life around, turned my business around, and was ready to try again. And instead of seeing Lee’s admonition to make myself accessible as a source of guilt, I now saw it as an opportunity.

In early 2011 I started inviting business associates and friends to lunch for no other reason than to chat. These interactions were not only personally rewarding, but led to many educational and profitable business experiences. Things continued to improve through 2011 and 2012 but it wasn’t until this year, 2013, that I became a true believe in the wisdom of Lee’s advice. Even until a few months ago I was still holding back, believing that if I made myself too accessible I would become overloaded and that people would take advantage of me. That all changed when I went through the life change of moving to Hong Kong where I’m opening a branch office of my business, and when read this article wherein I got a small piece of advice from Guy Kawasaki–default to “yes.”

Default to “yes?” It sounded crazy at first, but Kawasaki says “I’ve learned that the upside far exceeds the downside risk of being used.” I know Kawasaki lives what he preaches because while he doesn’t know me from any guy on the street, I’ve emailed him and received personal, non-automated responses. I decided to put his words and those of Lee to the test. Since coming to Hong Kong I’ve embraced making myself accessible and defaulting to “yes.” I’m not perfect at either, but I answer the phone a lot more. I return calls. I stay on top of email as best I can. I’ve even become active on Twitter. When people ask for assistance, I default to “yes” for the most part. Far from finding myself overloaded or being taken advantage of, the benefits have outweighed the negatives by a margin of 100 to 1.

If Lee were alive today I’d thank him for that one piece of advice. I’ve seen the downside of ignoring it, and the upside of applying it. I’m a believer now, and I’m not going back.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/joshsteimle/2013/08/09/one-single-tip-for-leadership-success/

Why Happiness – Not Hard Work – Sparks Business Success

Psychologist, Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage, says our most commonly held formula for success is broken…

Up to now we’ve all bought into the theory that: “if we work hard we will be more successful, and if we are more successful, then we’ll be happy… and if we can just find that great job, win that next promotion, lose those five pounds, happiness will follow.”

However Shawn’s discoveries in the field of positive psychology have revealed that happiness fuels success – and not the other way around. He says: “When we are positive, our brains become more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at work. This isn’t just an empty mantra. This discovery has been repeatedly borne out by rigorous research in psychology and neuroscience, management studies, and the bottom lines of organizations around the globe.”

As an experienced business advisor and executive coach, who is a big advocate of helping the family owner businesses, I work with to achieve a work/life balance. I too have witnessed many CEOs and MDs become more successful when they are happy, fulfilled and firmly in the driving seat.

UK business consultant, Jane Bytheway, and her business partner, Nina Joy, help bosses to ‘overcome overwhelm’ and get to the root of what is holding them back in order to get them moving ahead are great champions of ‘A Daily Dose of Vitamin Positivity’. What a great expression!

How more energised do we feel when we work with happy and upbeat clients, supply partners and business partners? Happiness and positivity act as a magnet in the world of business – resulting in a ‘win-win’ for everyone.

So how much more effective would you, and your company, be, if you could reboot your mind to a happiness programme – in the same way that you reboot your computer?

On a scale of 1-10, where 1 equals extremely unhappy and 10 equals extremely happy, what’s your personal happiness rating?

• What are the justifications for your score?
• What’s not quite right at this moment in your personal life?
• What are the likely consequences for you and your business if you don’t address the issue(s)?
• What would it take to move your score up one level?
• When will you take the first action to make the step change?

http://www.whatifspecialist.com/2013/08/why-happiness-not-hard-work-sparks-business-success/

Effective Leaders Build Success-Driven Teams: Lead With Three C's

Recently, I asked myself a serious question about my career: "Is it professionally healthy to remain a boss, or is it time to stand up and be leader?"

After a deep discussion with some coworkers, a colleague gave me a chart which described the traits of a boss versus a leader. It was a brief diagram, and yet its impact on me was strong. It led me to the conclusion that personally, I had experienced my fair share of good bosses; however, my interactions with great leaders were far and few between. Therefore, I decided it was time for me to stand up and position myself as a leader.

Leaders noticeably emit an attitude which allows them to build success-driven teams. They coach, demonstrate, develop and give credit. Most importantly, they lead with the understanding that there is no "I" in "team." As a result, professional women climbing the ladder of success must distinctly decide to strive with guidance in mind in order to gain the best results.

Under the governance of the few true leaders I worked with, I had a greater opportunity to flourish professionally. So, to start your journey on ditching the "boss" mentally and adopting a leadership attitude, apply the "Three C's" to build success driven teams:Collaborate, Cooperate and Coordinate.

Collaborate -- Don't Dictate
Leaders, personally and professionally, gain more by the applying the method of collaboration. Leaders coach and develop success-driven teams by creating a space where individuals can collaborate collectively to share ideas. Collaboration fosters engagement. It is important to allow others to feel they are an integral part of a process. When they do, a greater sense of value within the organization achieved. Essentially, everyone has the ability to add value to an organization, but the strategy rests in the hands of the "leader" to foster collaboration that builds success-driven teams.

Cooperate -- Don't Rely on Authority
Leaders must understand success is not gained with an "I" attitude. Instead, true success is multiplied when a "we" is engaged. When the team is collaborating in idea sharing, cooperate, and don't let your position go to your head. Again, your team is a reflection of you. Everyone has a voice and regardless of title, everyone deserves to be heard.

Coordinate - Don't Confuse
As a leader, it is important to share your vision clearly. Communicate your ideas with direction openly and at all levels to ensure full comprehension. Additionally, confirm your message is consistent and clarify the "gray areas" that may throw your team off track. Your team cannot garner success if they are confused.

In Level Three Leadership: Getting Below the Surface, author J.G. Clawson indicated effective leaders understand the necessity of connecting with individuals at all levels within an organization. Therefore, ask yourself...

• Am I commanding outcomes without gaining results?
• Do I take credit for all achievements?
• Do I exert leadership qualities with authority?

If you answered "yes" or raised an eyebrow and sighed "maybe," then take some time to reexamine some of your results and consider restocking your methods with more leadership directives.

So, all this is to say, as professional women climbing the ladder of success, make sure you stand out in comparison to the rest. It is acceptable to be a boss, but admirable to be a leader. For some, we already are in the leadership role in which this may prove beneficial for continued success.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shanna-b-van-ness/effective-leaders-build-success-driven-teams_b_3606374.html

Five Secrets Of Success

Everyone wants to be successful in life, but not many are aware of what success really is.

Success is an attitude, not just a phenomenon.

Tough situations arise in every business, every organization, and you need skills to handle them. These skills come from our inner space, which I call the Spiritual Space.

There are five ingredients for success:

1. Establishing a congenial atmosphere: 

Peace and prosperity are interlinked. Prosperity cannot flourish in a disturbed atmosphere. While working with others, you need to function as a team. Have a sense of respect for your team members, and do not indulge in blame games. As a team leader, you need to create an atmosphere of trust, cooperation, a sense of belonging, and celebration. Nothing can last if the focus is only on productivity and net result.

ummkhawla.wordpress.com

2. Skill in action: 

The whole essence of the Bhagavad Gita is to act without being attached to the fruit of the action. If you can manage your mind in a war-like scenario, then you can manage any situation. This skill in action is called yoga. It is this wisdom of yoga that transforms one's attitude from arrogance to self-confidence; from meekness to humility; from the burden of dependence to the realization of interdependence; from a limited ownership to oneness with the whole. When performing action, if the attention is only on the end result, then you can't perform. Just give yourself fully to the task with 100 percent sincerity and commitment.

3. Being courageous like a lion: 

There is a saying in Sanskrit that says, "Great wealth comes to one who has the courage of a lion and who puts in all his efforts." Passion and dispassion are complementary like the in-breath and out-breath. You breathe in but you cannot hold the breath too long; you have to breathe out. Similarly, you need to have passion to make things work but also the dispassion to let go. When you don't crave for abundance, it comes to you.

4. An atom of luck: 

If all that is needed for prosperity is one's own effort, then why are so many people who put effort not prosperous? This unknown factor or luck is enhanced by spirituality. The whole material world is run by a world of vibrations which is subtler than all that we see. Spirituality enhances intelligence and intuition. Intuition comes to you when you balance your passion with dispassion; profit with service; aggressiveness to get things with compassion to give back to the society. Intuition is the right thought at the right time, and is an important component for success in business.

5. Meditation: 

The greater responsibilities and ambitions you have, greater is the need for you to meditate. In ancient times, meditation was used as a way to find the Self, for enlightenment and to overcome misery and problems. Meditation is all the more essential in today's hectic lifestyle full of stress and tension. Stress is too much to do, too little time, and no energy. It can be difficult to reduce your workload, or increase the time that you have, but you can increase your energy level.

Meditation not only relieves you of stress and strain, it also enhances your abilities, strengthens your nervous system and mind and releases toxins from the body. We are made up of both matter and spirit. The body has some material needs and our spirit is nourished by spirituality. Meditation also helps us get in touch with our inner space - the source of joy, peace, and love.

The sign of success is overwhelming joy, confidence, compassion, generosity, and a smile that none can snatch away. Whatever happens in life, if you can keep these, then you have really found success.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sri-sri-ravi-shankar/sri-sri-shares-five-secre_b_3468105.html

Success Is A State Of Being

VERY often the benchmark of ­success is wealth. Everyone is judged by the external signs of wealth.

People pass ­disparaging remarks about those who are doing service or providing for others but are not wealthy and do not display the signs of wealth.

http://tiny.cc/58zgyw

If people identify more with their external conditions or roles, they will inevitably feel inferior or superior to others and so lack self respect.

The ways in which society works often blinds an ­individual from realising his/her own ­self-worth. For example, society sometimes gives ­acknowledge-ment only to those who are wealthy or occupy a position of authority. In reality, every individual has the right to know that worth is inherent in every human ­being.

Self worth can help ­individuals avoid feelings of inferiority or superiority. The middle path is a dignified way of life.

Success is not a material thing. It is a state of being. We might call it contentment, ­happiness or even peace.

How do you define success? It is the completion of a task, another job well done, an exam passed, a promise kept, or a mountain climbed.

Whatever we believe success to be will have a profound ­influence on our lives.

http://www.thesundaily.my/news/738039

Ten Top Personal Development Tips

Personal development is a very broad topic and can encompass anything that involves your growth as a person. It means following a course of continual growth and striving to reach your full potential. When you become a little better in some way than you were the day prior, your life and your circumstances will continuously improve. Personal development is typically achieved by first looking within oneself, altering your thinking, and ultimately changing your behavior as a result.

Since each of us is a unique individual our paths will vary. That having been said, below you will find 10 of the most helpful suggestions for improving one's self. Enjoy the journey!

1. Don't Let Anything Stop You
Never quit, never give up. Throughout your journey, there will be ups and downs. It is a given that there will be slow points and setbacks. These things will occur. In those moments of doubt or despair, DO NOT GIVE UP. Know in your heart that no matter how difficult things may become, no matter how low you may feel, ultimately there is nothing that will stop you. Life can throw whatever it wants at you and you will not quit, you will not falter until you win.

Keep in mind that personal development is a lifelong journey. There is no ending. It's all about the experiences and lessons learned.

So since there really is no finish line, make sure you enjoy the ride!

2. Follow Your Passion
Do what makes you happy. This is something that we have very, very backwards. Most of us chase money. While money is certainly not a bad thing, money by itself does not bring joy. Money can buy stuff. Stuff can provide temporary fun. But stuff doesn't bring true joy.

Follow your heart. Do what you love. The amazing thing about this is that when you do something that you're passionate about, you'll be successful at it. You'll put it tons of hard work and many, many extra hours and it will never feel like "work" because you're having fun. And as a result, the money will follow.


3. Challenge Yourself

Your goals should be just out of reach. Always challenge yourself. Growth comes as a result of adversity. If everything were easy, we would never change or grow. Your goals should not be impossible, but they should be challenging. Push yourself beyond what you perceive to be your current limitations. Explore new territory. Try out different things that you've never done before. Do something that you're afraid of.

Greatness comes as a result of having to dig deep and discover something that you didn't realize you already had inside of you.


4. Conquer Yourself

The only true obstacles in life are self-imposed. We will always have unforeseen things occur. Roadblocks will come up from time to time. You'll be right on the verge of accomplishing something only to have the rug yanked out from under you at the last moment. Murphy's Law strikes again.

While we cannot always control what happens to us, the one thing we can control is how we react to it. The only true obstacles we have in life are self-imposed. Our true obstacles lie within. If you can conquer yourself, nothing can stop you. As the saying goes, whether you think you can or you can't--you're right


5. Visualize Your Goals
Picture yourself where you want to be. As author Rhonda Byrne taught us in the best selling book "The Secret", what you intend will come to be.

Discover your true intention and make certain your goals are in alignment. Picture yourself achieving this goal. Close your eyes and imagine how it feels to accomplish this goal. Truly allow yourself to experience the emotions associated with the experience. Feel as though it has already happened.

Go through this visualization process daily until your goal has been achieved. Many successful people believe in the power of visualization and have used it throughout their lives to achieve great things.


6. Personal Responsibility
Avoid the blame game. This may seem counter-intuitive, but accept fault for everything that goes wrong in your life. No, that's not a typo. As hard as this may be to face, the reality is YOU are responsible for where you currently are in life. You have created your circumstances. Your choices and actions have gotten you to where you are today.

There is a great freedom that comes as a result of accepting personal responsibility. As soon as you stop blaming others, you are no longer a victim. You're free to change things in your life for the better. Once you come to the realization that you are where you are as a result of your decisions, this puts you in the driver's seat for the future.


7. Be a Student of Change
Embrace change. 

Our world is constantly evolving and today at a much more rapid pace than in the past. Change is difficult. It's easier to find a comfort zone and stay there. The problem with this, however, is that the world is going to keep moving forward without you.

Things are changing, regardless of how you feel about it. By becoming a student of change, you'll be able to adapt and stay ahead of the curve. Besides, change is good. If it weren't for change, I'd be sitting in a cave right now. So learn to welcome change. In today's fast paced world, it's the only constant.


8. Read, Read, Read
Learn from others. You know the best way to become successful? Do what successful people do. While making mistakes is not something to be avoided (this is how we learn), you can certainly speed up your self development process by reading about the mistakes others have made and learn the lessons therein.

Make it your personal goal to read at least a book per month. I recommend reading anything written by Seth Godin or Robert Kiyosaki. For a list of further recommended reading books to help open your mind, click here:


9. Make It Manageable
Break big tasks down into small steps. Sometimes large goals or projects can seem unattainable. For example, "repair my credit" may seem like a daunting task. Where would you even begin?

Take large items on your to do list and break them down into small, manageable steps. Using the example above, on Monday take out your credit report and highlight all errors that need to be addressed. On Tuesday contact each creditor and ask that the item be fixed/removed. On Wednesday set up automated payments for your bills so that you develop prompt payment history. And the list goes on.

Take it one step at a time and suddenly that giant mountain doesn't seem so imposing.


10. Sense of Urgency - Avoid Procrastination at All Costs!

Start TODAY! There is no such thing as the perfect time. The amazing thing is that 100% of people that begin something NOW all get started. Those that wait until tomorrow? Not so much.

For whatever reason, the longer we wait the less likely we will take action. It's just human nature. As time passes, things tend to lose importance in our minds. Sense of urgency will help you get things accomplished, and get them accomplished in a timely fashion.

If it's important, do it now. While the first step is always the most difficult, every step afterwards becomes progressively easier.

http://www.squidoo.com/personal-and-professional-development

How Optimism Moves The World Forward

Life is not simple. However, we are often told that it is. Modern consumerism offers a quick solution for every inconvenience. An increasing stream of gurus have profited from the claim that life can be, and should be, an effortless affair.

The misconception that life is simple seems to have made us less of a match for life. Our ancestors trekked across the steppes and savannas. They knew they were constantly in danger.They didn’t know life could be anything but challenging. 



Optimism turns out to be the most promising and fulfilling strategy, because the optimist accepts reality and then does something about it.Powerlessness is the root of pessimism. We are all born optimists. Who has ever met a pessimistic 4-year-old? A child who fell on the playground and, after having her tears dried and the scratch on her knee bandaged, decided never to run again? Those children don’t exist. Children get up, try again and keep laughing, even through their tears. Every child has the instinctive intelligence to keep trying. Young children don’t feel powerless.But for adults, optimism and persistence go hand in hand. You can’t find answers or solutions if you aren’t prepared to keep searching and digging. At the same time, you can’t find them if you don’t first accept the truth at the deepest level. That’s often a painful process. Optimism isn’t always fun and happy, and it has nothing to do with rose-colored glasses. 


55 Reasons to Be Optimistic

Optimists live longer. * In fact, we’re all living longer. * Optimists experience more and more fully. * Optimists travel more often and more widely. * The world keeps getting richer. * More and more children are attending school. * We’re getting smarter. * Optimists do better in school. * Optimists are better at sports. * Optimists more often make the right decisions. * Optimists are better at business. * There’s more democracy. * There’s less slavery. * There’s less racism. * There’s less gender discrimination. * Optimists are healthier. * They have better immune systems. * They’re less likely to catch colds. * They suffer less from depression. * They have a lower risk of heart disease. * They breathe more easily. * Sick optimists get better faster. * Optimism has a positive effect on overall health. * For that matter, we’re all becoming healthier, all around the world. * We’re growing more and more food on less and less land. * We have more food at our disposal than ever before. * And our food is healthier, too. * Optimists bring out the best in themselves. * And the best in others. * Optimists are more social. * Optimists maintain better relationships. * Optimists make other people feel worthwhile. * Optimists inspire others. * The number of optimists on our planet keeps growing. * Optimists are less fearful. * Optimists are open to new experiences. * Optimists are more stress-resistant. * Optimists are more resilient. * Optimists are more successful. * Optimists have an awesome favorite magazine. * Innovation keeps growing. * We have more access to information. * We’re giving more to charitable causes. * Housing keeps getting cheaper. * And more spacious. * Cars keep getting cleaner. * We have more free time. * There’s less crime. * And less war. * And less violence. * Optimists are surrounded by happy people more often. * Optimists enjoy life more. * Optimists are happier. * Optimism moves you forward. * Optimism moves the world forward.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/how-optimism-moves-the-world-forward.html

7 Steps To Being A Better You In 7 Days

I wake up every morning knowing I can be something more than I was yesterday. I know I can be anything I want to be as long as I focus on that goal. I attempt to make every day another step towards succeeding at my dreams. There is no better day than today to start being the best you.

Every day that you have, you have the opportunity to make incredible things happen. Sure, there are almost 7 billion people on the Earth, but you can still make a difference either in your life or another. What I am asking of you is that you make one small attempt to make yourself better in some way for the next 7 days and, hopefully, continue this lifestyle change. Before we get into that, let’s answer a few questions…

Why Should You Become a Better You?
I am assuming you are an amazing person right now. You have accomplished many great things and done a lot for others in your life. However, I feel that if we aren’t striving daily to be a better person, we begin to feel comfortable in the daily norm. Like many of you, I hate the daily norm. I love making everyday different than the last and experience something different as often as possible. With that, we should all challenge ourselves to be better so that we continue to grow and develop at whatever point we are in our lives.

What are the Benefits of Being a Better Me?
By attempting to be a better you, you will be happier, more productive, and fulfill more dreams than if you chose to be stagnant. You will start to see new opportunities that once were never a reality nor a possibility. You will meet new and exciting people that may give more meaning to your life. These benefits just touch the surface of the positive impact of attempting to be a better you can have.

Why in the World Would I Listen to You About Being a Better Me?
That’s a great question and I am glad you asked. I am not perfect. I have many flaws. However, daily, I try to be a better person because I know that by doing so I am adding value to my existence and hopefully, to others as well. I am bringing more value to the great gift of life. If there is anyone that can strive to be a better person, it is me. So, if I am seeing the positives from trying to be a better person, I know you can gain from attempting this small action too. I am no motivational speaker, but I do know that I have the skills to assist others in a modest way. You don’t have to take any of this advice. But, it never hurts to try something new that may just improve your life. The worst case scenario is that I don’t help you in any way and you go back to your already awesome life.

Now that those questions are out of the way, here are 7 daily steps that are basic and useful to becoming a better you in 7 days:

1. Wake up before sunrise. This may be tough for the night owls, but this can be one of the best ways to get in tune with yourself before the chaos hits. Take advantage of being ahead of everyone else and enjoy the coming of the day. This practice will lead to a fresher, more alive you throughout the day if continued. The happier you start your day, the brighter the rest of the day will be.
2. Ask someone if there is anything you can help them with. Try to ask others if there is anything that you can do to make their day better. They will appreciate you more and may inspire them to pay it forward. This action usually leads to self-fulfillment knowing that you have improved the life of another.
3. Get outside and be active. I usually plead the case for getting outside so that more people would be healthier. But, today, I just want to share this action step so that you can get outside and disconnect from the world. By this I mean the digital world. Today, many of us spend all of our day in front of the television or computer screen. The world is vast and incredible and usually it can be experienced just by walking out the front door. Take this opportunity to walk through your town or city and greet all of those you pass. Experience life in the form of nature. Do this for 30 minutes and your mind will be clearer and more alive than when you started.
4. Write down your goals for the next week. Don’t look so far ahead. Enjoy everything that you want to accomplish this week. By writing down your aspirations for one week, you will be more in tune with taking action today instead of procrastinating. Want to simplify your workspace? Write it down along with small daily tasks that will accomplish this goal. Keep it simple and you will achieve great things that will brighten your days to come.
5. Do one thing you love. Love reading? Love running? Love talking? Love relaxing? Love writing? Whatever it is that you love, try doing that for some period of your day. When we experience the things we love, we tend to carry that positive attitude towards the following actions. This will increase your level of enjoyment with life so that you can be better at everything else that you do. 
6. Make another person’s day. You would be surprised how much positive impact a small act can have on the person you are kind to along with the impact it has upon yourself. As stated earlier, you can ask someone if they need help. You can also tell them how great they are, write them a secret note (my girlfriend loves finding these in random places), take someone out for a meal, and so on. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It just should be something that will brighten their day. 
7. Learn something new. Have you always wanted to know how to say a few words of Mandarin as well as understand what you were saying? Well, learn that one new thing today. Take this chance to educate yourself about one thing you didn’t know before today and you will be that much brighter. Education should not stop when we leave school. By implementing this daily act, you will be capable of improving your ability to adjust to new and improved aspects of culture. 

READ THIS BEFORE YOU LEAVE: You may have read these 7 steps by skimming through this article. But what I want to stress is that you take action. Actually try something that you read here. These are not over-arching, difficult tasks. They are incredible ways that you can make major positive changes to your life. So, for me, just give it a shot for a week.


I hope through these 7 steps, you too can see the benefits of becoming a better you every day of your life.

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2010/05/27/being-a-better-you/