3 Simple Ways To Get Heard - Even By Your Boss

During a planning session I conducted a couple of months ago with the senior team of a client company, I was asking the larger senior group for feedback on some agreements that had been made the day before by the smaller exec team. One of the senior leaders ventured a disagreement. She made an important point – but expressed it in such a confrontational and unclear way that the whole group immediately rejected it and started defending against it. I untangled the situation (one benefit of having a neutral third party in the room), and the point was eventually understood and incorporated, but it made me think about how the person could have framed it differently to get better results. Because if I, or someone like me, hadn’t been there, this executive’s approach almost assured that her point would have been lost in the flurry of negative reaction to her delivery.

I’ve seen this often: someone makes a key point, but his or her way of conveying it is so emotionally charged, or so extreme, or so laden with I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong overtones, that it’s nearly impossible for other people to hear the actual content of what’s being said.

If this has ever happened to you, or to people who work for you, and you’ve been frustrated about how to change the dynamic, here are three simple ways to help make sure a message gets heard:

1. Avoid using “always” and “never.” 

Even if you think it’s true. When I talked to this executive after the fact, she insisted that her use of the word “never” was justified…but even if that were true, it wouldn’t have mattered – unless it was more important to her to be technically accurate than to get heard. If you tell people that they “never” or “always” do “X”, they will reject your contention out of hand. Their immediate thought will be something like, “Come on, that’s just not true…I can think of at least two times when I have/haven’t done X.” And they’ll 100% forget the actual point you were trying to make. I believe that when we use these words, it’s often because we think it will help make our point more strongly – but trust me, it will backfire.

2. Make requests vs. complaints. 

Complaints say what’s not working; requests ask for a specific improvement. Simply put, a complaint sounds like,“You’re doing X wrong.” A request sounds like, “Could you do Y instead of X?” Complaints make people feel instantly defensive, and their energy then goes toward convincing you that their approach/actions/thinking are right, instead of toward considering your point of view. Requests, though, tend to be received as respectful and collaborative – creating much more room for actual hearing of your point. Here’s an example: imagine someone says to you, “Your people just don’t give us the information we need!” How might you react? Imagine, instead, that person says, “We’d really appreciate getting that information every Friday.” I suspect you’d be much more amenable to changing your behavior after the second sentence.

3. Lead with agreement.

If someone else states his or her point of view, and the first thing you do is disagree or take exception, the other person is likely to respond as though battle lines have been drawn: you on one side, him or her on the other. The two of you will almost certainly settle into defending your points of view, rather than trying to come to a workable middle ground. Even if you later say what you like or agree with about what they’ve said, it tends to be too late to repair the initial adversarial impression.

If, on the other hand, your response begins with something you sincerely like, find appealing, or concur with about the other person’s point of view, whatever you have to say after that (even a disagreement) is much more likely to be heard. Starting by focusing on the areas of agreement helps the other person see you as a supportive and collaborative partner, and will make it much more likely that he or she will be open to your subsequent concerns and suggestions.

A big part of having influence in any environment depends upon creating openness to your point of view. Using any of these approaches can help ensure that your ideas and insights get the hearing they deserve.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2013/12/10/3-simple-ways-to-get-heard-even-by-your-boss/

How CEOs Can Beat The Clock: 5 Tips From HP's Meg Whitman

When you’re running a company like Hewlett-Packard HPQ -0.58%, with $120 billion in revenue and operations in more than 100 countries, there’s never enough time to get everything accomplished. But HP’s chief executive officer,Meg Whitman, has developed a wide range of ways to beat the clock.

Having also run eBay in the late 1990s, when it was a tiny, fast-growing enterprise with just 30 employees, Whitman has a keen understanding of the special challenges that entrepreneurs face. Here she shares five helpful tactics for entrepreneurs who are short of time — and unseasoned when it comes to time management.


1. Concentrate on your strengths. 

“I try to figure out what I’m uniquely good at–and surround mysel f with people who are really good at what I’m not good at. My partnership with former eBay CTO Maynard Webb was perfect–one plus one equaled seven. At HP, Bill Veghte, the COO, and I have a very good complementary partnership. Having grown up in the enterprise, he knows it incredibly well and is deep from a technology perspective. I’m very good on strategy, market segmentation, communications and leading the charge.”

2. Recalibrate your priorities weekly.

“I constantly check the to-do list. Every Sunday night I ask myself, What do we have to get done? What did we think was important last week? What can go away? If an old priority isn’t so important anymore, but a new one is, how are we going to get there from here? With my calendar on my laptop I go out three or four months–and work backwards from there. That’s helpful. It’s very iterative.”

3. Walk away from gridlock. 

“If we’re off on a really bad tangent, I’ll hand a project back to the team. Even though there is a piece of me that thinks, ‘If I spend another five hours on this I’m sure I could make a difference.’ I’m always looking for the right person to solve a problem. I only have so much time.”

4. Next ! 

“I keep meetings under control because I’m literally scheduled back-to-back from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. That’s a natural forcing function that prevents things from running over.”

5. Measure the right things. 

“We spent quite a bit of time asking, ‘What are the things we need to measure?’ Customer loyalty, on-time product launches, percentage of volume through the channel, average selling prices, attach rates of software to hardware and so forth. The result is the dashboards we’ve developed. I get them once a week, and they’re pretty helpful because, as the old adage goes, you focus on what you measure. They serve as early-warning indicators, too: If you start to see some things going south, then you can get in front of them. It’s a road map that will really help us run the company.”

http://www.forbes.com/sites/georgeanders/2013/05/25/how-ceos-can-beat-the-clock-5-tips-from-hps-meg-whitman/

Get The Most From Your Personal Development Journey With These Simple Tips

Starting a personal development plan is the hardest part. Your personal being is so multifaceted, it’s almost impossible to comprehend. Where, then, do you start? A few simple actions can help you start moving towards your personal goals for self-improvement, whatever those goals may be. You will find numerous tips to help you reach your personal development goals.

It is possible to learn how to cope in a crisis without letting your emotions take full control. If you can keep your cool in times of stress, you can overcome a variety of obstacles. Take a moment and focus on your breathing technique.

There will usually be a difference in where you are in life, and where you want to be. This first step is certainly one of the hardest, and many people have a hard time committing themselves past this point. Without a clear understanding of exactly where you need to go, the process of achieving your personal development goals will be long and frustrating.

Respect your body’s boundaries in pursuit of any goal you might have. You should always put forth your best effort, but you also need to stay within your limits. You have to keep your body in mind when you are trying to accomplish something. Sacrificing what your body needs is counter-productive in improving yourself.

Succeed at everything you set your mind to. The passions you have should always make you want to achieve greatness. You can never be as good as you could be at one single thing but you can try to be the best you can be in what you are interested in. Increase your professional skillset, and you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Strive to improve daily so that each one is more perfect than the previous. It is important to make sure you keep pushing yourself every day to keep improving. Try and improve yourself daily.

Personal development starts with leadership. When thinking about leadership, think about it in terms of your level of influence on the world around you. Review your total experiences as a leader. Which experiences have been enriching for you? How have these events shaped your life? Ask yourself which qualities make you a good leader. By knowing yourself and your motives better, you can more easily integrate into a leadership role with others.

Talking to a professional counselor or a pastor can be an extremely rewarding experience. These people are educated and licensed to handle any problems you have, and usually have experience as well. They’ll eagerly listen, analyze what’s going on and help you find enlightenment. You may find that sharing your personal issues with a professional will open the door to health and happiness.

As you can see, personal development is simpler than it looks. By breaking your personal development process into small, manageable goals, you’ll find yourself closer to your goals by the end of every day. You’ll be able to practice what you’re seeking to adopt as habit, and you’ll increase your own morale to continue. These tips are only a springboard, it’s up to you to build a better life.

http://www.osteopatiainternacional.com/get-the-most-from-your-personal-development-journey-with-these-simple-tips/

One Single Tip For Leadership Success

There are too many lists of tips for success in one endeavor or another that begin with a number larger than “1.” 

Today’s list is a single tip for leadership success. I don’t mean to mislead anyone–doing this one thing will not bring complete leadership success. What I am saying is it is an important enough practice that it deserves undivided attention, unencumbered by 4, 9, or 49 other tips that would distract you from remembering this one practice of truly great leaders. Here is the story of how I came to learn and appreciate this tip, for which I take no credit since I got it from someone else and proceeded to ignore it for most of my career.

Blaine Lee, now deceased, was a business consultant and author who worked with Stephen R. Covey. You’ve heard of Covey, of course, but probably not Lee. He wasn’t the most high profile member of Covey’s team. Far from prolific, he wrote only wrote one book, The Power Principle.

In 1994 I became friends with one of Lee’s sons. When, during a casual chat, I asked his son what his father did for a living, he responded “He works with businesses.” Until Lee’s book was published in 1998 that’s all I knew about my friend’s father. It was then realized my friend had been excessively humble about his father’s professional accomplishments. I bought the book and read it. It’s been 15 years, and while I don’t remember much else from the book I remember this one bit of advice for those wanting to have power or influence with others–make yourself accessible. That one point stuck in my head and has come back to me almost every single day since I started my business in 1999.

The reason I have been so constantly reminded of this point is because of how hard I have tried to ignore it. Like Poe’s tell tale heart, my attempts to make myself inaccessible have struck at my conscience, stabbing me with guilt each time I looked at a phone ringing and didn’t pick it up, marked an email for follow up, knowing I would never look at it again, or refused to engage people on Twitter. Whenever I avoided people instead of communicating with them, Blaine Lee would appear in my mind wagging his finger at me, telling me that as long as I refused to make myself accessible to people I was choosing to minimize my power and influence.

I had good reasons. When I started my business I was still a college student and newly married, so I was busy. I didn’t have time to answer every email. Most phone calls were from sales people trying to sell me things I didn’t want. The truth was I was avoiding issues I didn’t want to deal with and interpersonal situations where I would have felt uncomfortable. On my voicemail I invited people to send me an email, and then I never answered the phone. “If it’s important they can leave a voicemail or email me,” I would tell my wife when my cell phone rang. Then I would ignore half the emails I got as well, reading them quickly and marking them for follow up. Then they would get pushed below the fold and they were gone forever.

It shouldn’t be hard to see how this habit was damaging to my business. Over the years I saw relationships with clients, partners, and employees deteriorate due to a lack of communication. It culminated in early 2007 when I was forced to let all my employees go and shut down my office. For me that was my rock bottom. Granted, making myself inaccessible wasn’t the only reason my business was failing, but it was a big part of it.

For the next few years I retreated to a home office where I worked alone trying to pay off business debts and get my head around how to fix my business. I cut myself off more than ever and turned inward, focusing on myself. In some ways this was the right behavior at the time–I needed to sort myself out and get things under control. But in terms of being any sort of leader or serving others, it was a low point.

Thankfully I went through this in my early 30’s rather than my late 60’s. By the end of 2010 I had turned my life around, turned my business around, and was ready to try again. And instead of seeing Lee’s admonition to make myself accessible as a source of guilt, I now saw it as an opportunity.

In early 2011 I started inviting business associates and friends to lunch for no other reason than to chat. These interactions were not only personally rewarding, but led to many educational and profitable business experiences. Things continued to improve through 2011 and 2012 but it wasn’t until this year, 2013, that I became a true believe in the wisdom of Lee’s advice. Even until a few months ago I was still holding back, believing that if I made myself too accessible I would become overloaded and that people would take advantage of me. That all changed when I went through the life change of moving to Hong Kong where I’m opening a branch office of my business, and when read this article wherein I got a small piece of advice from Guy Kawasaki–default to “yes.”

Default to “yes?” It sounded crazy at first, but Kawasaki says “I’ve learned that the upside far exceeds the downside risk of being used.” I know Kawasaki lives what he preaches because while he doesn’t know me from any guy on the street, I’ve emailed him and received personal, non-automated responses. I decided to put his words and those of Lee to the test. Since coming to Hong Kong I’ve embraced making myself accessible and defaulting to “yes.” I’m not perfect at either, but I answer the phone a lot more. I return calls. I stay on top of email as best I can. I’ve even become active on Twitter. When people ask for assistance, I default to “yes” for the most part. Far from finding myself overloaded or being taken advantage of, the benefits have outweighed the negatives by a margin of 100 to 1.

If Lee were alive today I’d thank him for that one piece of advice. I’ve seen the downside of ignoring it, and the upside of applying it. I’m a believer now, and I’m not going back.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/joshsteimle/2013/08/09/one-single-tip-for-leadership-success/

Effective Leaders Build Success-Driven Teams: Lead With Three C's

Recently, I asked myself a serious question about my career: "Is it professionally healthy to remain a boss, or is it time to stand up and be leader?"

After a deep discussion with some coworkers, a colleague gave me a chart which described the traits of a boss versus a leader. It was a brief diagram, and yet its impact on me was strong. It led me to the conclusion that personally, I had experienced my fair share of good bosses; however, my interactions with great leaders were far and few between. Therefore, I decided it was time for me to stand up and position myself as a leader.

Leaders noticeably emit an attitude which allows them to build success-driven teams. They coach, demonstrate, develop and give credit. Most importantly, they lead with the understanding that there is no "I" in "team." As a result, professional women climbing the ladder of success must distinctly decide to strive with guidance in mind in order to gain the best results.

Under the governance of the few true leaders I worked with, I had a greater opportunity to flourish professionally. So, to start your journey on ditching the "boss" mentally and adopting a leadership attitude, apply the "Three C's" to build success driven teams:Collaborate, Cooperate and Coordinate.

Collaborate -- Don't Dictate
Leaders, personally and professionally, gain more by the applying the method of collaboration. Leaders coach and develop success-driven teams by creating a space where individuals can collaborate collectively to share ideas. Collaboration fosters engagement. It is important to allow others to feel they are an integral part of a process. When they do, a greater sense of value within the organization achieved. Essentially, everyone has the ability to add value to an organization, but the strategy rests in the hands of the "leader" to foster collaboration that builds success-driven teams.

Cooperate -- Don't Rely on Authority
Leaders must understand success is not gained with an "I" attitude. Instead, true success is multiplied when a "we" is engaged. When the team is collaborating in idea sharing, cooperate, and don't let your position go to your head. Again, your team is a reflection of you. Everyone has a voice and regardless of title, everyone deserves to be heard.

Coordinate - Don't Confuse
As a leader, it is important to share your vision clearly. Communicate your ideas with direction openly and at all levels to ensure full comprehension. Additionally, confirm your message is consistent and clarify the "gray areas" that may throw your team off track. Your team cannot garner success if they are confused.

In Level Three Leadership: Getting Below the Surface, author J.G. Clawson indicated effective leaders understand the necessity of connecting with individuals at all levels within an organization. Therefore, ask yourself...

• Am I commanding outcomes without gaining results?
• Do I take credit for all achievements?
• Do I exert leadership qualities with authority?

If you answered "yes" or raised an eyebrow and sighed "maybe," then take some time to reexamine some of your results and consider restocking your methods with more leadership directives.

So, all this is to say, as professional women climbing the ladder of success, make sure you stand out in comparison to the rest. It is acceptable to be a boss, but admirable to be a leader. For some, we already are in the leadership role in which this may prove beneficial for continued success.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shanna-b-van-ness/effective-leaders-build-success-driven-teams_b_3606374.html

Throw Your Old Plan Away: 6 New Ways To Build Leadership Development Into Your Job

Every leader I know is extremely busy getting their job done. At the same time, they also realize that investing effort in their own leadership development is good. The problem is that when faced with a choice, work seems to always trump personal development. Everyone runs fast and hard, and personal development is put off as executives wait and hope for a break in the schedule.’ll argue that this is a false dichotomy. First, work and development should not be seen as competing activities. Here’s the reason to combine them: Doing one can accomplish the other. You can make your daily job into a practical leadership classroom and laboratory. If you choose to do this, you can constantly improve your leadership skills while getting your job done. That, in turn, benefits your organization, your working associates, and most certainly, you.

Here are some specific ways you can bring your personal development and your job closer together:

1. Learn new information. 

There are bodies of information that are highly relevant to your job. It may be the latest trends in the industry or some new technology. It could be about competitors. Or it may be technical information that would make you more knowledgeable about your company’s products.

2. Build new relationships. 

This might involve people external to the organization, such as suppliers, customers, those in academia or other parts of the business community. Or it could be your relationship with other department heads, or with various staff functions within your organization.1. Learn new information. There are bodies of information that are highly relevant to your job. It may be the latest trends in the industry or some new technology. It could be about competitors. Or it may be technical information that would make you more knowledgeable about your company’s products.

3. Organize colleagues who share a common interest. 

This may be a mutual interest in a new product or project. It may be a group interested in a specific subject matter such as strategic planning. It could be a group dedicated to increasing diversity within the organization. Many organizations have groups of women leaders who meet to further the role of women in the organization.

4. Take time to plan and review your day.

Some leaders set aside the first 15 minutes in the morning to note the tasks to be accomplished in that day. Others do that as they commute to work. Then they finish the day by reflecting on what went particularly well and where they could see ways to improve their performance. Others use the commute home to reflect on what went well and how conversations or meetings could have gone better.

5. Create new feedback mechanisms for yourself. 

We know there is great power and value in leaders seeking feedback from those they work with. It strengthens the organization and it makes their leadership better. It may be as simple as Ed Koch, the former mayor of New York, asking “How and I doing?” or team building sessions that allow a group to reflect on how well it functions. New feedback mechanisms may also involve getting information from groups you typically don’t get feedback from, such as staff groups or people in other divisions of your company.

6. Restructure your job. 

 As a manager you have the choice of doing certain things yourself or delegating to others. You can put more emphasis on one activity and less on another. You can elect to take on a task because you want to learn and understand it better as a part of your development.

70/20/10
Combining development and work makes even more sense if you believe the long accepted maxim that there is a 70/20/10 formula that applies to leadership development. (That formula suggests that 70% of what you learn about leadership comes from on-the-job experiences. Coaching from your boss and others gives you the next 20% and the final 10% comes from formal class-room development.) While those exact numbers can be debated, most would say it is directionally correct. Why, then, do organizations spend virtually no time trying to gain a higher return from the 70%, a minimal effort on the 20%, and focus most of their resources on the 10%? Willie Sutton, the bank robber, explained that he robbed banks “because that’s where the money is.” Willie’s statement is humorous, but he makes a valuable point. Applying that primitive logic, it becomes more obvious that you receive a much greater benefit from the time, energy and effort you spend building development into your job than on the time you spend on anything else. For example, job related feedback from a 360 degree instrument is a powerful tool to help combine development with work. Like Willie, you should focus your effort directly on the largest payoff at hand.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jackzenger/2013/07/16/throw-your-old-plan-away-6-new-ways-to-build-leadership-development-into-your-job/