3 Simple Ways To Get Heard - Even By Your Boss

During a planning session I conducted a couple of months ago with the senior team of a client company, I was asking the larger senior group for feedback on some agreements that had been made the day before by the smaller exec team. One of the senior leaders ventured a disagreement. She made an important point – but expressed it in such a confrontational and unclear way that the whole group immediately rejected it and started defending against it. I untangled the situation (one benefit of having a neutral third party in the room), and the point was eventually understood and incorporated, but it made me think about how the person could have framed it differently to get better results. Because if I, or someone like me, hadn’t been there, this executive’s approach almost assured that her point would have been lost in the flurry of negative reaction to her delivery.

I’ve seen this often: someone makes a key point, but his or her way of conveying it is so emotionally charged, or so extreme, or so laden with I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong overtones, that it’s nearly impossible for other people to hear the actual content of what’s being said.

If this has ever happened to you, or to people who work for you, and you’ve been frustrated about how to change the dynamic, here are three simple ways to help make sure a message gets heard:

1. Avoid using “always” and “never.” 

Even if you think it’s true. When I talked to this executive after the fact, she insisted that her use of the word “never” was justified…but even if that were true, it wouldn’t have mattered – unless it was more important to her to be technically accurate than to get heard. If you tell people that they “never” or “always” do “X”, they will reject your contention out of hand. Their immediate thought will be something like, “Come on, that’s just not true…I can think of at least two times when I have/haven’t done X.” And they’ll 100% forget the actual point you were trying to make. I believe that when we use these words, it’s often because we think it will help make our point more strongly – but trust me, it will backfire.

2. Make requests vs. complaints. 

Complaints say what’s not working; requests ask for a specific improvement. Simply put, a complaint sounds like,“You’re doing X wrong.” A request sounds like, “Could you do Y instead of X?” Complaints make people feel instantly defensive, and their energy then goes toward convincing you that their approach/actions/thinking are right, instead of toward considering your point of view. Requests, though, tend to be received as respectful and collaborative – creating much more room for actual hearing of your point. Here’s an example: imagine someone says to you, “Your people just don’t give us the information we need!” How might you react? Imagine, instead, that person says, “We’d really appreciate getting that information every Friday.” I suspect you’d be much more amenable to changing your behavior after the second sentence.

3. Lead with agreement.

If someone else states his or her point of view, and the first thing you do is disagree or take exception, the other person is likely to respond as though battle lines have been drawn: you on one side, him or her on the other. The two of you will almost certainly settle into defending your points of view, rather than trying to come to a workable middle ground. Even if you later say what you like or agree with about what they’ve said, it tends to be too late to repair the initial adversarial impression.

If, on the other hand, your response begins with something you sincerely like, find appealing, or concur with about the other person’s point of view, whatever you have to say after that (even a disagreement) is much more likely to be heard. Starting by focusing on the areas of agreement helps the other person see you as a supportive and collaborative partner, and will make it much more likely that he or she will be open to your subsequent concerns and suggestions.

A big part of having influence in any environment depends upon creating openness to your point of view. Using any of these approaches can help ensure that your ideas and insights get the hearing they deserve.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2013/12/10/3-simple-ways-to-get-heard-even-by-your-boss/

The Secret To Making Financial Resolutions You'll Actually Keep

For 2014, a record number of consumers — 54% — are considering making a financial New Year’s resolution, according to a study by Fidelity Investments. One reason could be that 26% of survey participants say they are in a stronger financial situation than they were a year ago, compared to 19% last year.

If you also plan to make a financial resolution, you may have learned from past New Years that it’s much easier to make a resolution than to achieve one. The same study found that about three in ten people fall off the bandwagon.

So what’s the key to succeeding? Having a well-crafted goal.

“It’s easier for us to stay motivated with goals that have certain elements to them,” says Dr. Will Meek, a psychologist in Vancouver, Washington. “If we shape a goal well, it’s something we’ll continue to pay attention to and that will help us stay motivated. If we don’t shape it well, we’ll lose track of it and lose our motivation, and it won’t come to be.”

Below are tips on creating strong goals in general and around the top three financial resolutions people make — as well as an extra one we think you should add.

How To Formulate Strong Resolutions

1. Be positive.
Goals should be positively worded, says Dr. Meek. For instance, instead of saying something like, “We’re going to spend less money on frivolous things,” say instead, “We’re going to spend money only on things we truly value.”

2. Focus ruthlessly.
It’s easy at the New Year to become over-ambitious and think you’ll overhaul your entire life. But if you try to do too many things at once, you’ll be spread too thin. If you really want to make some changes this year, focus on one to three things that really matter to you, so you can put in the time and effort to achieve them.

3. Be specific.
Dr. Meek says the key elements of a strong goal can be summarized with the acronym SMART, starting with Specific.

“We want the goal to be as specific as possible rather than general. It keeps our attention on point, so we don’t say, ‘I’m going to be healthier’ but instead, ‘I’m going to eat two portions of vegetables two days a week,’” says Dr. Meek.

4. Make your goal measurable.
Goals also need to be Measurable, he says. “If we can track our progress, it can help with our motivation,” he says. If you have a goal of paying off $2,000 in credit card debt, you can easily break it down into four $500 payments, and get a boost as you watch yourself get 25%, then 50%, then 75% of your way to your goal.

5. Keep your resolution attainable.
“If [a goal is] so out of reach, that’s demotivating,” he says. If you know your tendency is not to be realistic about what you can accomplish in a given period of time, start tracking your time or looking back at your past accomplishments and how long they took you to achieve to get a sense of what’s possible.

6. Choose a goal that’s relevant.
Dr. Meek also recommends making your goal Relevant — “this is something that matters to me.” If you make a goal because it’s something you think you should do, but you personally don’t care much about, you’re much less likely to accomplish it. Part of this is just about framing, he says. While you might personally be bored by the idea of saving more, if you connect it to giving your child the best college education you can, that will be much more motivating.

7. Make it time-bound.

Finally, your goals should also be Time-bound, so they have a deadline, as that pressure will help you ensure you reach your goal. So, for instance, your goal of paying of $2,000 in debt should have a deadline of, say, April, so you know exactly what date you are aiming for.

Once You’ve Made Your Resolutions …

1. Check in regularly.
Make sure you don’t lose sight of your goal. Create a prompt for yourself that will always remind you of it. For instance, decide that every time you pay the mortgage, you’ll revisit your financial resolutions. Make sure you are doing a check-in at least once a month, and during that time, appreciate what you’ve already achieved. If you’ve made it this far, you can reach your goal.

2. Remind yourself of your motivation.
Once you’ve got all your resolutions set, document all your goals and your reasons for committing to them.

3. Don’t give in to downward spirals.
Finally, if you get off course, don’t beat yourself up or dwell on your mistakes. It will only make yourself feel worse, and you’ll end up even further off track. “When you slip up, get right back on as soon as possible,” Dr. Meek says.


How To Create Strong Financial Resolutions
For the third straight year, the Fidelity survey found that the top three New Year financial resolutions are saving more (54%), paying off debt( 24%) and spending less (19%), with the debt resolution passing “spending less” for the second most popular slot. It’s also increased threefold since 2010, when only 8% of respondents intended to pay off debt.

1. Saving More
If you intend to put away more money this year — whether for a rainy day, a down payment, a dream trip, your child’s college education or something else — Mary Beth Stojohann, certified financial planner and CEO and founder of Workable Wealth, says, “Always automate your savings. It’s hard to do a transfer on your own.” For instance, she recommends you set up automatic 401(k) or Individual Retirement Account contributions or automate a regular transfer from checking to savings.

2. Paying Off Debt
First, stop contributing more to your debt.  Also keep a little rainy day fund of at minimum $1,000 so an emergency expense doesn’t end up on your credit card.

Second, she says, don’t chip away at your debt by sending random payments toward each debt every month. Instead, send as much as you can toward your debt with the highest interest rate, and then pay the minimum on all your other balances. “That will save you the most money in the long run,” she says.

Finally, as with savings, automate those debt payments.

3. Spending Less
Set a threshold for your big purchases, suggests Storjohann. “It’s one thing to spend $20 at Target on a whim, but if you ever want to buy something $50 or $100 or more, give yourself at least a 24-hour waiting period to make sure you’re reflecting on the purchase,” she says. “Ask yourself what you’re giving up in lieu of this purchase. Is it going to be that you’re not going to go out for the next month? Where are you going to make up the difference? Because it’s money that hasn’t been accounted for.”

She recommends setting your threshold at $50 or $100, depending on your budget. During your waiting period, ask yourself why you want this item and what it means for you — whether you really need it or want it to keep up with the Joneses. If it’s more the latter, remind yourself, “When you’re comparing yourself to other people, you’re seeing their best self — not the financial issues behind-the-scenes that make you keep up with them,” she says.

4. Bonus Resolution: Earning More
When it comes to improving their finances, most people turn to “austerity” measures like paying off debt or spending less. But they often don’t consider making more money — and that resolution should be on a lot more lists, as it will make it easier for you to save more and pay off debt without having to spend so much time and energy on cutting back.

5. Get creative about ways to earn more. Start with your salary — check out websites like Payscale, Glassdoor and Salary.com to see what you could be earning for your position and experience in your city. Then, come up with a plan for wowing your boss, so you can make a strong case for a raise or some kind of increase in benefits — or, if you feel up for navigating what is a trickier dance, interview for other positions to get a counteroffer or even jump ship.

6. Finally, consider decluttering — and profiting from it. Sell gently loved valuables on sites like eBay or Craigslist, or take brand-name items to consignment shops.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/laurashin/2013/12/30/the-secret-to-making-financial-resolutions-youll-actually-keep/

10 Ways To Become Better At Your Job Today

With a still-shaky recovery, tepid hiring and continued stagnation in many workplaces, employees have a tough time feeling inspired to extend any extra effort . But if you can improve your job performance, you will put yourself in a good position to climb up the ladder should an opportunity materialize, or to move to a totally new job, in case you hear of an opening at another company.

What’s the best way to become better at your job? We’ve run a number of stories with advice about improving job performance. After looking over those pieces and brainstorming with Forbes Leadership Editor Fred Allen, I’ve put together ten tips that should help you get ahead in your current role.

First, get organized. 

With the onslaught of email, texting, tweeting and everything else, it can be challenging to stay on top of your workload. We ran this story about conquering your email inbox, which recommends a system of prioritizing urgent items, dealing with short requests quickly, deleting junk and putting less pressing matters on a to-do list. One more tip: Consider imposing some discipline on email interruptions. Check your inbox once a half hour or once an hour, to give yourself time to complete tasks that require concentration.

Second, stop trying to multi-task. 

In 2009, a group of Stanford researchers released a study that showed how people who do heavy multitasking, keeping up several email conversations at once while texting, jumping from one website to the next and trying to work at the same time, do not pay attention as well as those who maintain a more streamlined work flow.

Third, put yourself in the mindset of your boss. 

We’ve run several stories about dealing with difficult supervisors. The most effective strategy: Empathize, and discover your boss’s style, so that you can imagine what he or she is looking for in an employee. We ran this piece about dealing with a younger supervisor, this story about a series of questions you can ask your boss, which will help you get to know her (what was her previous job? what are her career aspirations?), this story about dealing with a lousy manager (set an agenda, don’t yell back), and this piece about managing up a difficult boss (treat him like a difficult client). The overarching lesson: figure out your boss’s style and orientation and try to stay one step ahead.

Fourth, forge strong relationships with colleagues outside your immediate area of responsibility. 

In his best-selling book Getting More: How To Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World, Wharton Business School professor Stuart Diamond notes that “companies, even small ones, can be very political places.” Diamond recommends allying with people who can help you, including employees who have been there a long time and who may be overlooked by others, those who work in human resources, staffers in the information technology department, even security guards and cleaning staff who have probably absorbed much more about your firm than you realize. Diamond calls it “building your own coalition.”

Fifth, focus on listening. 

Listen to your boss of course, but also pay close attention to your colleagues and subordinates. At work we often feel like we have to perform by doing verbal gymnastics, but listening closely to what others say can be even more useful and can garner more appreciation from co-workers.

Sixth, try getting in early. 

Even 15 minutes can make a difference. If you can swing an early arrival, you will get a step ahead of the day’s tasks. You can even reward yourself later with a longer lunch break or a departure for home that comes earlier than usual.

Seventh, make sure you give yourself genuine down time. 

We ran a piece on the importance of vacation. That means time away from the office when you don’t check work email or let yourself think about the next project. It can give you a sense of control, of purpose, it can shake up your perception of time, offer the space to expand cultural horizons and allow the kind of relaxed break everyone needs to refuel.

Eighth, once you’ve refueled, aim for clarity and precision in everything you do at work.

If an email won’t convey the subtlety of your decision to push for a colleague’s ouster, then pick up the phone or visit in person.

Ninth, do plenty of research and preparation before you undertake any task.

Don’t take up your boss’s time before you’ve performed plenty of legwork. Prior to a meeting, rehearse your strategies and objectives.

Tenth, try some humility.

Most career advice seems to encourage relentless self-promotion. But Orville Pierson, author of The Unwritten Rules of the Highly Effective Job Search, says it’s better to avoid strings of hyped-up adjectives and instead to describe your accomplishments simply, without embellishment.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/susanadams/2013/11/11/10-ways-to-become-better-at-your-job-today-2/

Raising Your Self-esteem To Have A Better Career

Most of your frustrations and struggles during your job search have to deal with insecurity. How you feel about yourself will either spawn motivation and energy or will severely hurt your chances for a great career.

When you increase your confidence level, you are able to interview more effectively, negotiate higher salaries and, subsequently you will receive a wider number of offers. Conversely, when you fail to do so, you are going to be paid less, given fewer responsibilities and will end up accepting a position that you are overqualified for.

Insecurity is like a leash that tethers you to a finite number of job options. Because of self-doubt, distrust and insecurity, you’ve become estranged from your true source of power. Luckily, there is nothing stopping you from changing.

You can train yourself to begin to feel more confident both in life and when interviewing. It doesn’t happen overnight, though with practice it will happen and it will change your career.

To help, I’ve listed some basic exercises for you to implement in order to gain key self-esteem and momentum during job transitions:

1. Begin refuting the thoughts pertaining to your negative self-image

In order to begin to raise your self-esteem, you must learn to refute the destructive thoughts you have about yourself.

Stop focusing on what you don’t like about your personality, abilities or qualifications. Begin to replace those thoughts with the aspects that you do admire.

Stop calling yourself names, it’s counterproductive. Instead, focus on what you like about yourself. Forget failures. Rather, think about prior achievements, positive qualities and difficulties you’ve overcome in the past.

2. Learn to effectively deal with disapproval and failure

People who have a high self-esteem have a superior ability to cope with failure. On the flip side, those who have a low sense of self-worth will allow outer circumstances such as the decision of a hiring manager to control their lives and how they feel about themselves.

It’s not always about you – that’s unrealistic thinking. On the contrary, as an executive recruitment specialist, I can tell you that interviewing rejection can spawn from dozens of other variables. Just because you take something personally, doesn’t mean you’re correct. Insecurity often distorts reality.

3. Think in action oriented terms

When people who have a high self-esteem run into hurdles, they don’t waste time prostrating and they keep at the job until it is finished.

For instance, instead of worrying about how a resume is not up to snuff, take action and make it better. Don’t stop until the job is done. People with a high self-esteem don’t make excuses and remain resilient consistently setting goals for themselves.

4. Stop worrying

Worrying about your job search is counterproductive and will magnify your insecurity. Worrying leads to stress, anxiety and panic which carries over to your interviews.

Even though the majority of the things that job seekers worry about never happen, they find themselves utter victim to this thought process. The most effective remedy is to live in the moment. Let life unfold and begin to believe that there is more to life than fretting and “what-iffing.”

The right mindset will significantly boost your overall state of being and performance. When you think positively and believe in your abilities, you’ll recognize success.

Since low self-esteem can spiral out of control and seriously effect your ability to find the right position, it’s crucial to begin improving your self perception asap. Once this is successfully done, you can start to interview at the level you should and will find the right position in a more timely, constructive manner.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/kensundheim/2013/10/30/raising-your-self-esteem-to-have-a-better-career/

How CEOs Can Beat The Clock: 5 Tips From HP's Meg Whitman

When you’re running a company like Hewlett-Packard HPQ -0.58%, with $120 billion in revenue and operations in more than 100 countries, there’s never enough time to get everything accomplished. But HP’s chief executive officer,Meg Whitman, has developed a wide range of ways to beat the clock.

Having also run eBay in the late 1990s, when it was a tiny, fast-growing enterprise with just 30 employees, Whitman has a keen understanding of the special challenges that entrepreneurs face. Here she shares five helpful tactics for entrepreneurs who are short of time — and unseasoned when it comes to time management.


1. Concentrate on your strengths. 

“I try to figure out what I’m uniquely good at–and surround mysel f with people who are really good at what I’m not good at. My partnership with former eBay CTO Maynard Webb was perfect–one plus one equaled seven. At HP, Bill Veghte, the COO, and I have a very good complementary partnership. Having grown up in the enterprise, he knows it incredibly well and is deep from a technology perspective. I’m very good on strategy, market segmentation, communications and leading the charge.”

2. Recalibrate your priorities weekly.

“I constantly check the to-do list. Every Sunday night I ask myself, What do we have to get done? What did we think was important last week? What can go away? If an old priority isn’t so important anymore, but a new one is, how are we going to get there from here? With my calendar on my laptop I go out three or four months–and work backwards from there. That’s helpful. It’s very iterative.”

3. Walk away from gridlock. 

“If we’re off on a really bad tangent, I’ll hand a project back to the team. Even though there is a piece of me that thinks, ‘If I spend another five hours on this I’m sure I could make a difference.’ I’m always looking for the right person to solve a problem. I only have so much time.”

4. Next ! 

“I keep meetings under control because I’m literally scheduled back-to-back from 9 a.m. until 6 p.m. That’s a natural forcing function that prevents things from running over.”

5. Measure the right things. 

“We spent quite a bit of time asking, ‘What are the things we need to measure?’ Customer loyalty, on-time product launches, percentage of volume through the channel, average selling prices, attach rates of software to hardware and so forth. The result is the dashboards we’ve developed. I get them once a week, and they’re pretty helpful because, as the old adage goes, you focus on what you measure. They serve as early-warning indicators, too: If you start to see some things going south, then you can get in front of them. It’s a road map that will really help us run the company.”

http://www.forbes.com/sites/georgeanders/2013/05/25/how-ceos-can-beat-the-clock-5-tips-from-hps-meg-whitman/

The Only Career Question You'll Ever Need To Ask

In our work lives, we are constantly asking questions, evaluating our options, and making decisions. This swirl of considerations can be overwhelming at times, and with so many questions to ask it can be hard to know which is more important. The most important career question you’ll ever ask is only three letters long, but packs one heck of a punch. The question is…why? It’s such an important question; I recommend you ask it five times over any time you’re making any major decision at work or in life.

I learned the “5 Whys” tool from Martha Beck, a coaching mentor of mine. Here’s how it works. You identify a stressful thought or an action related to your career or business (e.g., I should quit my job), and then you drill down the rationale behind that thought by asking why five times, going deeper each time.

I use this exercise to help my clients get a better understanding of their thought processes – to determine whether the thought is true, or is simply misguided. You start with a thought or inclination, and with each why you drill down closer to the motivating assumption.

Let’s try:

I should apply for a promotion. 

Why? Because other people are going to apply. Why does that matter? Because I don’t want someone else to get it over me. Why? Because I don’t want to be in a lower position. Why? I don’t want to have no power. Why? I’m afraid I’ll be taken advantage of.


Aha! You’ve uncovered some valuable information. This appears to be a fear-based decision.

It could also go like this:

I should apply for a promotion. 

Why? It’s the perfect job for me! Why? I’d love that job. Why? I’m good at all of those things. Why? I have experience with those activities. Why? I’ve volunteered for those types of projects before.

You can see that the motivating thoughts in these two examples are quite different. Let’s try another common one:

My business needs more social media presence. 

Why? Everyone else is on Twitter. Why does that matter? A business needs to be on Twitter to be successful. Why? Because that’s where the customers are. Why? Because they’re interacting with other people. Why? Because it’s fun and social.

You get the gist. In this example, the person’s thinking might be correct or misguided, depending on the type of business, target market, and marketing strategy. If you operate a dry cleaning business, for example, something like Twitter may be far less relevant than for someone whose services – say, outdoor adventure travel – translate well to social engagement. The point is to dig down to where the seed of your thought is planted and evaluate it.

Note that in both of the above examples, the word should or need is present. Pay close attention to any business or career decision that is driven by a forced or constraining undertone. In the coaching community, we call these types of thoughts “shackles on” – thoughts that feel restrictive and binding. Are you simply trying to keep up with the Jones’, or are you making a well-thought-out decision for your business? The former suggests a panicked and potentially irrational decision, while the latter is more likely to be a good choice.

Doing anything that feels “shackles on,” without being in line with your company’s strategy and values, is a shouldy way of thinking (say it out loud). Steer clear of this type of decision-making. Asking why five times over is especially helpful for sorting out anxiety-inducing thoughts, and it works just as well for personal decisions as it does for professional ones. Try this exercise when you’re struggling with any decision that stresses you out. Better yet, have a colleague or friend take you through it so you can answer aloud. You’ll be able to peg your rationale as either wise or misguided the moment it leaves your lips.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/85broads/2013/08/19/the-only-career-question-youll-ever-need-to-ask/

12 Body Language Tips For Career Success

When properly used, body language can be your key to greater success. It can help you develop positive business relationships, influence and motivate the people who report to you, improve productivity, bond with members of your team, and present your ideas with more impact. Here are a dozen tips for using body language to project confidence, credibility, and your personal brand of charisma:

1. Stand tall and take up space. 

Power, status, and confidence are nonverbally displayed through the use of height and space. Keeping your posture erect, your shoulders back, and your head held high makes you look sure of yourself.


2. Widen your stance. 

When you stand with your feet close together, you can seem hesitant or unsure of what you are saying. But when you widen your stance, relax your knees and center your weight in your lower body, you look more “solid” and confident.


3. Lower your vocal pitch. 

In the workplace, the quality of your voice can be a deciding factor in how you are perceived. Speakers with higher-pitched voices are judged to be less empathic, less powerful and more nervous than speakers with lower pitched voices. One easy technique I learned from a speech therapist was to put your lips together and say “Um hum, um hum, um hum.” Doing so relaxes your voice into its optimal pitch. This is especially helpful before you get on an important phone call – where the sound of your voice is so critical.


4. Try Power Priming. 

To display confidence and be perceived as upbeat and positive, think of a past success that fills you with pride and confidence.


5. Strike a Power Pose. 

6. Maintain positive eye contact.

You may be an introvert, you may be shy, or your cultural background may have taught you that extended eye contact with a superior is not appropriate, but businesspeople from the U.S., Europe, Australia (and many other parts of the world), will expect you to maintain eye contact 50-60% of the time. Here’s a simple technique to improve eye contact: Whenever you greet a business colleague, look into his or her eyes long enough to notice what color they are.

7. Talk with your hands. 

Brain imaging has shown that a region called Broca’s area, which is important for speech production, is active not only when we’re talking, but also when we wave our hands. Since gesture is integrally linked to speech, gesturing as you talk can actually power up your thinking. Whenever I encourage clients to incorporate gestures into their deliveries, I find that their verbal content improves, their speech is less hesitant, and their use of fillers (“ums” and “uhs”) decreases. Experiment with this and you’ll find that the physical act of gesturing helps you form clearer thoughts and speak in tighter sentences with more declarative language.


8. Use open gestures. 

Keeping your movements relaxed, using open arm gestures, and showing the palms of your hands — the ultimate “see, I have nothing to hide” gesture — are silent signals of credibility and candor. Individuals with open gestures are perceived more positively and are more persuasive than those with closed gestures (arms crossed, hands hidden or held close to the body, etc.) Also, if you hold your arms at waist level, and gesture within that plane, most audiences will perceive you as assured and credible.


9. Try a steeple. 

You see lecturers, politicians and executives use this hand gesture when they are quite certain about a point they are making. This power signal is where your hands make a “steeple” — where the tips of your fingers touch, but the palms are separated. When you want to project conviction and sincerity about a point you’re making, try steepling.


10. Reduce nervous gestures. 

When we’re nervous or stressed, we all pacify with some form of self-touching, nonverbal behavior: We rub our hands together, bounce our feet, drum our fingers on the desk, play with our jewelry, twirl our hair, fidget — and when we do any of these things, we immediately rob our statements of credibility. If you catch yourself indulging in any of these behaviors, take a deep breath and steady yourself by placing your feet firmly on the floor and your hands palm down in your lap, on the desk or on the conference table. Stillness sends a message that you’re calm and confident.


11. Smile. 

Smiles have a powerful effect on us. The human brain prefers happy faces, and we can spot a smile at 300 feet – the length of a football field. Smiling not only stimulates your own sense of well being it also tells those around you that you are approachable and trustworthy.


12. Perfect your handshake. 

Since touch is the most powerful and primitive nonverbal cue, it’s worth devoting time to cultivating a great handshake. The right handshake can give you instant credibility and the wrong one can cost you the job or the contract. So, no “dead fish” or “bone-crusher” grips, please. The first makes you appear to be a wimp and the second signals that you are a bully.

Handshake behavior has cultural variations, but the ideal handshake in North America means facing the other person squarely, making firm palm to palm contact with the web of your hand (the skin between the thumb and first finger) touching the web of the other person’s hand, and matching hand pressure as closely as possible without compromising your own idea of a proper professional grip.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2013/08/21/12-body-language-tips-for-career-success/

What To Do When You Don't Get The Job: It Starts With Being Proactive

It’s always disheartening when you don’t get the job. Particularly if it was your dream job and you were one of the final candidates. Yes, it’s OK to be disappointed – even angry and hurt. But don’t let your feelings get the better of you.

Even more important, don’t take out your anger on the employer. You know what they say about not burning bridges. There are many ways that you can be proactive in your approach even after they’ve offered the job to someone else.

Just be sure that you’ve dealt with your emotions before you start.

“First and foremost, take a minute to grieve. Especially if it was your dream job, your first reaction is going to be sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and you want to allow yourself a chance to get it out,” says Sara Sutton Fell, CEO of FlexJobs. “Once you’ve calmed down, THEN it’s time to follow up with the employer.”

Lida Citroen, personal branding expert agrees, “It’s important to maintain your integrity and personal brand, look past the short-term disappointment, and turn the negative into a positive for future job opportunities.”

One way to show how gracious you are is to send a thank you note. While everyone knows you should send a thank you note after a job interview – the majority of people don’t bother. So sending a thank you note when you don’t get the job makes you really stand out in a good way.

That’s why many career professionals suggest doing just that. “Even if you didn’t get the job, they still took their time to speak with you, and it is common courtesy to thank them for the opportunity,” says Citroen.

Ronald Kaufman executive coach and author of Anatomy of Success agrees, “Let them know you appreciate learning the status of the job opening. Repeat your strong points as an employee. Always leave the door open.”

“If you’d like to be considered for future opportunities, say just that,” suggests Fell. “If you were one of the finalists for the job, there’s a good chance that they’ll keep you in mind for other possibilities in the future.”

One thing most career experts don’t recommend is asking why you didn’t get the job. Why shouldn’t you ask? Most experts say you’ll probably never really know. There are many possibilities. Maybe someone else just interviewed better. Maybe you didn’t click with the hiring manager. Generally, if you do get an answer from HR it will be only a vague response because companies are afraid of litigation.

In some cases asking may work against you. “Never ask why you didn’t get the job. It could put the hirer on the defensive and make them feel uncomfortable, pretty much ensuring that they won’t contact you about other possibilities,” says Kaufman.

Others disagree. “In order to learn from this experience, it’s important to find out why they decided to go with another candidate,” says Citroen. “Whatever the case may be, in order to see if or how you can improve, it’s important to determine why you weren’t the top pick.”

Dream Job or Dream Company?

Even if this position didn’t work out you never know what the future may bring. There is always the possibility that the person who was hired may not work out. It does happen. More likely however, another position will open.

The secret to staying on their radar is to nurture the connection. Make sure you get the email addresses of everyone you meet during the interview process so you can contact them later, whatever the outcome. As long as your follow-up doesn’t develop into stalking, it’s OK to stay in touch.

“Read publications that pertain to that company’s industry, and with well-timed and polite ‘conversational’ messages, forward the person articles of interest,” suggests Dawn Rasmusssen career expert and founder of Pathfinder Writing and Career Services. “If you see their name in a publication, clip the article and forward it to them to say, ‘Wow- congratulations!’”

Rafe Gomez, The Rehirement Coach, refers to this practice as sending cheesecake – something sweet, appetizing and irresistible that will be of value to the person. “The cheesecakes could be news of a solution that you delivered or made possible, a blog post that you’ve written about an industry trend or development, original research you’ve done, a new customer success story, or new business that you helped to close,” says Gomez. “The best cheesecakes are concise, infrequently delivered, and offer highly interesting info about your exploits.”

It’s important to also consider whether it was the job or the company that attracted you. If your primary goal is to work for XYZ Company you need a strategic marketing plan. Connect in person whenever possible. Many industry associations have monthly meetings – go and be visible. Find out where the people in your target companies hang out online and connect with them through social media.

“You should also start drinking the social media Kool-Aid to show interest in the company, “says Rasmussen. She recommends that you 1) Follow them on LinkedIn 2 )Look up their company’s Twitter handles and follow them 3) Like their Facebook page and 4) Find out where they blog and make positive, helpful comments.

The important point is to never give up particularly when you’re targeting a particular company or companies. The job market changes daily. Company needs change frequently as well. As Rasmussen says, “If you really want to work at a company, you aren’t going to let one ‘NO’ turn you away from them forever, right?”

http://www.forbes.com/sites/85broads/2013/08/16/what-to-do-when-you-dont-get-the-job-it-starts-with-being-proactive/

Changing Jobs? Plan Your Exit Strategy Well

Having an exit strategy can help you know the right time to seek a job change

As many business people may tell you: Having a viable exit strategy is a must for any successful project. Jobs are not any different. You always should know what you’re getting yourself into, what you want to achieve throughout your employment and what you will be able to do afterward – whether your exit is voluntary or not. At the end of the day your experience with each job should be a success story that can take you to the next level.

People who pursue such a plan often set goals for each and every job. These goals help them stay focused, enjoy their employment and be able to advance to a better position at the end.

Not to be confused with a lack of commitment, having an exit strategy can help you know the right time to seek a job change. Very often, people lured by a financial boost or what appears to be a better title, may leave their jobs prematurely. Sticking with each job for the right – often long – haul can help you make the best of each experience. When you make the decision to quit, then you’re sure you’re making the right move.

Here is how you should consider your exit strategy through each phase of employment.

Job huntingAlthough this may sound unrealistic in view of the still-tight job market, you should be cautious in accepting a job offer that isn’t a logical step on your career path. Such jobs can turn into obstacles for advancement. Not taking the job is usually better and less damaging than taking it for a short period. Think of the time and disruption involved with a short-term job experience. Not only your exit may not be as smooth as you would like it to be, your next step may become even more complicated. That is why you should focus on making sure that you pick a job that you can stay with and it will lead you to a better position once you go back in the market.

EmploymentThis is the core length of your work, and it can be several years. As mentioned, having an exit plan doesn’t mean that you won’t be full-heartedly investing in your job. Instead, you should keep your eye on your end goals in terms of achievement and advancement. This is a personal interest that shouldn’t conflict with your employer’s interest. Your enthusiasm may be highly regarded and appreciated. To position yourself for the next job, make sure that your knowledge and skills are always up-to-date. Keep your eyes open for training opportunities, webinars, certifications, etc. Most important, make sure that while you settle in nicely in your office routine, you don’t lose touch with what is going on around you. Having solid industry connections and being an active member in trade organizations and networks can help you stay abreast of your profession changes and market trends.

Near the end
Many people consider changing jobs out of boredom. While this is understandable, it is not justified. You may be bored of your job for the simple reason of not making the best out of it. If you change your attitude and see the potential areas that can be developed to shine, you may find yourself enjoying your current job and you will be able to make the decision to move based on more valid reasons. Apart from a layoff that may be unpredictable, the time for a voluntary exit should be set when your goals are achieved. These are typically long-term goals like closing several big projects, bringing in a certain volume of business, etc. Your goals can be a moving target and you may want to challenge yourself in achieving even a higher goal. An exit also can be through pursuing a promotion with your current employer.

The exit
Now that you’re at the exit, it is time to review how you’ve fared compared to your initial plan. Have you acquired the knowledge and the skills that help you with your next job? Are you confident that you can apply for more senior positions or with more quality employers as a result? Have you developed the connections within the industry that can help you place a job easier? If your answers are yes, then you’ve achieved your goals and benefited from having an exit plan from start to end.


Finding the exit

- Check a job leads in the right direction

- Set goals to advance

- Make sure you exit at the right time

- R.O.


http://gulfnews.com/business/opinion/changing-jobs-plan-your-exit-strategy-well-1.1218415

Effective Leaders Build Success-Driven Teams: Lead With Three C's

Recently, I asked myself a serious question about my career: "Is it professionally healthy to remain a boss, or is it time to stand up and be leader?"

After a deep discussion with some coworkers, a colleague gave me a chart which described the traits of a boss versus a leader. It was a brief diagram, and yet its impact on me was strong. It led me to the conclusion that personally, I had experienced my fair share of good bosses; however, my interactions with great leaders were far and few between. Therefore, I decided it was time for me to stand up and position myself as a leader.

Leaders noticeably emit an attitude which allows them to build success-driven teams. They coach, demonstrate, develop and give credit. Most importantly, they lead with the understanding that there is no "I" in "team." As a result, professional women climbing the ladder of success must distinctly decide to strive with guidance in mind in order to gain the best results.

Under the governance of the few true leaders I worked with, I had a greater opportunity to flourish professionally. So, to start your journey on ditching the "boss" mentally and adopting a leadership attitude, apply the "Three C's" to build success driven teams:Collaborate, Cooperate and Coordinate.

Collaborate -- Don't Dictate
Leaders, personally and professionally, gain more by the applying the method of collaboration. Leaders coach and develop success-driven teams by creating a space where individuals can collaborate collectively to share ideas. Collaboration fosters engagement. It is important to allow others to feel they are an integral part of a process. When they do, a greater sense of value within the organization achieved. Essentially, everyone has the ability to add value to an organization, but the strategy rests in the hands of the "leader" to foster collaboration that builds success-driven teams.

Cooperate -- Don't Rely on Authority
Leaders must understand success is not gained with an "I" attitude. Instead, true success is multiplied when a "we" is engaged. When the team is collaborating in idea sharing, cooperate, and don't let your position go to your head. Again, your team is a reflection of you. Everyone has a voice and regardless of title, everyone deserves to be heard.

Coordinate - Don't Confuse
As a leader, it is important to share your vision clearly. Communicate your ideas with direction openly and at all levels to ensure full comprehension. Additionally, confirm your message is consistent and clarify the "gray areas" that may throw your team off track. Your team cannot garner success if they are confused.

In Level Three Leadership: Getting Below the Surface, author J.G. Clawson indicated effective leaders understand the necessity of connecting with individuals at all levels within an organization. Therefore, ask yourself...

• Am I commanding outcomes without gaining results?
• Do I take credit for all achievements?
• Do I exert leadership qualities with authority?

If you answered "yes" or raised an eyebrow and sighed "maybe," then take some time to reexamine some of your results and consider restocking your methods with more leadership directives.

So, all this is to say, as professional women climbing the ladder of success, make sure you stand out in comparison to the rest. It is acceptable to be a boss, but admirable to be a leader. For some, we already are in the leadership role in which this may prove beneficial for continued success.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shanna-b-van-ness/effective-leaders-build-success-driven-teams_b_3606374.html

3 Steps For Making Your Career Dream A Reality

Remember the scene in "Pretty Woman" where a man asks, “What’s your dream?” I watched this movie the other night, and the scene sparked a thought for me: Everyone has a dream, but very few of us actually share our dream with others.

There are a lot of reasons for this. Often it’s just a matter of confidence or fear of failure. But that’s the catch, we all need help from others to reach your vision, find your passion or achieve your lifetime goals. So, how do you make that happen?

1. Clearly define your dream. 

Although most people have an idea of what that perfect life or career would look like, few actually define the details. Few people take the time to understand the components. Have you thought about your details? Who is in the picture? What is the setting? What are you wearing? How do you feel?

2. Acknowledge your dream. 

For most of the population, a dream feels unrealistic. The delta between our reality and our dreams may seem too great. Few people see dreams become realities. Those who make it a reality do it by visualizing themselves achieving the dream. They feel it, they can taste it. These are the people who have the confidence to clearly communicate their dreams to others.

You have to believe your dream is possible for you. If you have a hard time with this, flip the question around, and ask yourself why your dream isn’t possible for you. Then tackle those fears.

3. Share your dream. 

It’s time to start shouting from the rooftops. Let’s move away from all the gender issues and fear of failure. Some people will be intimidated by your communicating your desires. Stop listening to them. The people who see your vision, care about your passion or who have similar lifetime goals will step up to the plate and help you get there. Use appropriate language and effective communication techniques and share your dreams with anyone who will listen.

Throughout Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts’ character walks through these steps. She finds the fairy tale because she was clear about what that looked like for her, and she effectively communicated her dream with someone who could help her achieve it. I hope your professional circumstances are quite different than those in the movie — but that your outcome is the same.

9 Great Tips To Help Get You That Pay-Rise

Of all the job-related minefields you can enter, asking for a pay rise may seem one of the most dangerous.

Surely it would give good reason for your boss to think you are totally out of touch with reality, or maybe just insensitive? Surely it's easier just to move on and find another job right?

The need to reward doesn't change, whether the economy is in a downturn or an upturn. In fact the need to keep good staff is even more critical as the corporate world gathers momentum. The prospect of seeking a salary review is therefore not as far fetched as one may think. 

1. What's your worth? 

Show your manager how much you are worth - being prepared is the first step to securing a pay rise.

2. Think like your boss 

Second guess their objections.

3. Write a business plan

Know your worth and know what you want. Find out what similar jobs are paying and prepare a report that outlines all the salary data

4. Timing is everything

Make sure you get it right. Ask for a raise after after a personal success and not after the company posted record losses.

5. Approach

When asking for more pay, don't be aggressive. Be assertive. Your goal is to let your employer know how difficult it would be to replace you. But never give an ultimatum.

6. Consideration

Give your boss time to consider your request. Don't expect an on the spot response. Be prepared to negotiate. If you are not getting anywhere with a straightforward pay rise, never threaten to leave; seek feedback and focus on the reason why your request has been denied.

7. Consider negotiation: 

For perks outside your salary, such as extra leave, or training

8. Let your boss know you are willing: 

To improve to earn the raise and try to obtain a time frame under which you can obtain it

9. The bottom line

Remember that the hardest part is asking. But never be afraid to ask - you just don't know what opportunities could open up.

http://au.pfinance.yahoo.com/money-manager/tax/article/-/17694329/end-of-financial-year-how-to-ask-for-a-salary-rise

How To Get A Promotion

Asking for a promotion can be tricky. Suzanne de Janasz, professor of leadership and organisation development, IMD, explains how to be prepared when approaching the subject.

You don’t get what you don’t ask for. This adage is especially relevant in an environment where individuals and organizations find themselves struggling to keep pace.

Are employees so grateful to have a job that they choose not to seek a promotion? Or perhaps they believe that “my work speaks for itself; I need not ask for what I deserve” or “good things come to those who wait.”

Patience may be a virtue, but witnessing others receiving recognition and promotions while you’re being overlooked is a recipe for resentment, decreased productivity, and possibly departure from the organization.

Marketing oneself is for many unnatural, or worse, a societal taboo. But savvy employees recognize that tough economic times may offer unique opportunities to improve their employment situation by helping their employer reduce costs, increase revenues, or improve competitiveness.

http://openscience.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/promotion.jpg

Here are three things to bear in mind when seeking a promotion:

ENSURE YOUR NETWORK IS AWARE OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND EXPERTISEPerforming well is a necessary but insufficient prerequisite for promotion. Beyond the annual performance appraisal conversation with your boss, you need to ensure that others within your professional and personal network are aware of your unique knowledge, capabilities, and track record.

For those uncomfortable with the idea of self-promotion, look at it this way: (1) nobody is in a better position to market the brand that is you, and (2) by ensuring others know your capabilities and contributions, you increase your social capital and visibility within the organization.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY
“I want a promotion,” is a weak way to start a conversation with your boss. Prepare by researching positions (within and outside the organization) for which you possess at least 70% of the qualifications and be able to articulate exactly the position you want and why.

Clarify how your accomplishments and capabilities match the position requirements, and demonstrate your worth by pointing out inefficiencies that your ideas have reduced or new clients you’ve brought in. Who could argue with a Dhs50,000 a year higher paid position for someone who has increased revenues by Dhs825,000 last year?

Also, consider your boss’s goals in your preparation. Would your promotion enable him or her to offload tasks that would free up their time for more strategic activities? Could your taking on an expat assignment provide them with a trusted expert in a growing but challenging market? Look for voids that you might fill or problems you might alleviate.

WHAT IF THE BOSS SAYS “NO?”When you know what you want and why, you’re better equipped to consider multiple satisfactory alternatives. Going in with an ultimatum is unwise; such threats can harm the working relationship.

Considering attractive alternatives to your goals gives you more confidence in the negotiation process since you don’t have to accept whatever is – or isn’t – offered. It also gives you the ability to be persistent about your goal without alienating your boss.

By suggesting other possible solutions, you help reframe the conversation into a collaborative problem-solving session. For example, you might negotiate a promotion that is tied to the accomplishment of a specific goal.

Another yes-able alternative would be a phased-in agreement. Or, at the very least, you might agree to revisit the conversation at a specific time, for example, in three months.

In tough economic times, your good performance is more valuable than ever. There may be cheaper employees available, but no one knows the job – or is as committed to seeing the company succeed – as much as you do.

Remind yourself of that, and prepare yourself thoroughly to remind your boss what you deserve and why. You might not get everything you ask for, but you will certainly get none of what you don’t ask for.

http://gulfbusiness.com/2013/06/how-to-get-a-promotion/#.UcWbpvm1GSo